In front of my bed the bright moonlight,
Looks like hoarfrost on the ground white,
Raise my head and gaze at the bright moon afar,
Bow my head and think of my hometown tonight.
改做如下, 如何? 不用miss,是感觉这里用两个syllables读起气足些。最后两句同有11个
本帖于 2016-07-20 07:25:38 时间, 由普通用户 Yimusanfendi 编辑
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更好!多谢一兄讨论!
-阿留-
♂
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07/20/2016 postreply
07:54:47