First clarification --- I am not intend to impersonate a lawyer. I am not a lawyer.
I admire your knowledge and your warm heart. I learned a lot from your posts too. My post is never intended to replace yours. Your advice is reliable that the readers can somewhat predict when things go to the court, what would most likely happen. My post is for BEFORE the court or OUTSIDE the court. As a lawyer you give solutions within the legal boundary. A good lawyer gives good solutions. I have no doubt that you will be a good lawyer someday.
As a person with sense of responsibility. Whenever there is a post give out amateur solutions, you pointed them out. That is good so that the readers will know that the solutions are not backed up with legal rules, they probably will fall when under an attack from a lawyer. Somehow, I felt that you are personally upset when those not-so-legal posts appear. You are worried if people would have been misled by the wrong information. Please note that readers here need good advices from a lawyer, and they also need non-lawyer posts as subsides. Please readers' intelligence. Believe me, readers prefer the forum name as “Legal Discussion“ not “Lawyer Advices“.
Ask yourself, when you buy a big ticket thing, such as a house a car, do you only ask the opinion from professionals, or you are open to words from friends who might has no knowledge in real-estate/vehicle safety, then you make your won judgment. Did your friends do an exhaustive research or have reference documents to backup their saying such as “Do not go out after 10pm in this neighborhood” or “Ford Sucks”?
As a lawyer, your actions begin when you accept the case from a client. As an average person (for example the lady of the initial post, her hu*****and and I), actions should be taken before the case escalates to a court or a lawyer. Life is a continuous flow. A person should begin to build up his/her advantage position gradually when he or she senses a threat.
Do you play chess? You do not engage in a battle from the beginning. You spend 80% time to layout. In the layout stage, you do not attack unless there is no other option, you gradually move your pieces to the positions. Each move is intended either for future attacking, or for future blocking --- make the opponent’s move impossible or very COSTLY. As your old posts said, legal fees can be expensive for both parties especially when the dispute last one or two years. Old Chinese Phrase, Kill the 1000 enemies at an expense of 800 soldier’s life.
Sure, in theory, there can be a court order to limit the mother where to bore, because the father should have the equal right to the baby as the mother does. A court can virtually order anything against a person. In reality, ???
I agree with you that the best option for the lady is to reconcile with her hu*****and now, for herself and her baby's best interest. I agree that whoever choose to devorce, make sure she knows that in her rest of life she might never find some one good enough to replace her ex-hu*****and.
However, if the lady felt she is abused to an unbearable degree, and she has the means and will to live an independent life after the baby born, why not choose the easiest way to dump the hu*****and. Now, she is in a very disadvantage position (Physically, Financially and Emotionally) comparing with her hu*****and. Do you think that she should go to find a lawyer and begin the legal divorce or separation process when she was heavy pregnant?
如果老貓是您，按照正規的法律程序來處理，您們雙方辦理離婚，雙方共享監護權，他負擔child support + 他有探視權與假日監護權，您負責主要監護權，雙方共同有法定監護權，這是最正常的安排，其他旁門左道的門路，想都不要去想。
I do not think she is currently fit enough for that kind of depression. So, the next-best move for her, (Instead of living with a abusive hu*****and and do self pity everyday,) is to BLOCK her hu*****and's moves --- go away from her hu*****and to an environment that good for her to finish the rest pregnancy, then go to a hospital that her hu*****and does not even know. Do not go disappearing though, leave letters to neighbors, coworkers and friends to say that she left home willingly so as to have a peaceful pregnancy term.
I did not say impossible, but later her hu*****and would have big difficulties to get a court order, if he does not know where she is, whether the baby born alive, is the baby a girl or boy. At the same time, she did not limit her own options. She can go to work without begging a consent from her hu*****and; She can contact her hu*****and later when she feel stronger. she can choose to (1) to return to her hu*****and, (2) discusses divorce, baby’s custody and supports 按照正規的法律程序來處理.
Although she is weak now, time is on her side. With time goes by, her options do not shrink, but her hu*****and’s posibility of claiming the custody shrink.
I admire your knowledge and your warm heart. I learned a lot from your posts too. My post is never intended to replace yours. Your advice is reliable that the readers can somewhat predict when things go to the court, what would most likely happen. My post is for BEFORE the court or OUTSIDE the court. As a lawyer you give solutions within the legal boundary. A good lawyer gives good solutions. I have no doubt that you will be a good lawyer someday.
As a person with sense of responsibility. Whenever there is a post give out amateur solutions, you pointed them out. That is good so that the readers will know that the solutions are not backed up with legal rules, they probably will fall when under an attack from a lawyer. Somehow, I felt that you are personally upset when those not-so-legal posts appear. You are worried if people would have been misled by the wrong information. Please note that readers here need good advices from a lawyer, and they also need non-lawyer posts as subsides. Please readers' intelligence. Believe me, readers prefer the forum name as “Legal Discussion“ not “Lawyer Advices“.
Ask yourself, when you buy a big ticket thing, such as a house a car, do you only ask the opinion from professionals, or you are open to words from friends who might has no knowledge in real-estate/vehicle safety, then you make your won judgment. Did your friends do an exhaustive research or have reference documents to backup their saying such as “Do not go out after 10pm in this neighborhood” or “Ford Sucks”?
As a lawyer, your actions begin when you accept the case from a client. As an average person (for example the lady of the initial post, her hu*****and and I), actions should be taken before the case escalates to a court or a lawyer. Life is a continuous flow. A person should begin to build up his/her advantage position gradually when he or she senses a threat.
Do you play chess? You do not engage in a battle from the beginning. You spend 80% time to layout. In the layout stage, you do not attack unless there is no other option, you gradually move your pieces to the positions. Each move is intended either for future attacking, or for future blocking --- make the opponent’s move impossible or very COSTLY. As your old posts said, legal fees can be expensive for both parties especially when the dispute last one or two years. Old Chinese Phrase, Kill the 1000 enemies at an expense of 800 soldier’s life.
Sure, in theory, there can be a court order to limit the mother where to bore, because the father should have the equal right to the baby as the mother does. A court can virtually order anything against a person. In reality, ???
I agree with you that the best option for the lady is to reconcile with her hu*****and now, for herself and her baby's best interest. I agree that whoever choose to devorce, make sure she knows that in her rest of life she might never find some one good enough to replace her ex-hu*****and.
However, if the lady felt she is abused to an unbearable degree, and she has the means and will to live an independent life after the baby born, why not choose the easiest way to dump the hu*****and. Now, she is in a very disadvantage position (Physically, Financially and Emotionally) comparing with her hu*****and. Do you think that she should go to find a lawyer and begin the legal divorce or separation process when she was heavy pregnant?
如果老貓是您，按照正規的法律程序來處理，您們雙方辦理離婚，雙方共享監護權，他負擔child support + 他有探視權與假日監護權，您負責主要監護權，雙方共同有法定監護權，這是最正常的安排，其他旁門左道的門路，想都不要去想。
I do not think she is currently fit enough for that kind of depression. So, the next-best move for her, (Instead of living with a abusive hu*****and and do self pity everyday,) is to BLOCK her hu*****and's moves --- go away from her hu*****and to an environment that good for her to finish the rest pregnancy, then go to a hospital that her hu*****and does not even know. Do not go disappearing though, leave letters to neighbors, coworkers and friends to say that she left home willingly so as to have a peaceful pregnancy term.
I did not say impossible, but later her hu*****and would have big difficulties to get a court order, if he does not know where she is, whether the baby born alive, is the baby a girl or boy. At the same time, she did not limit her own options. She can go to work without begging a consent from her hu*****and; She can contact her hu*****and later when she feel stronger. she can choose to (1) to return to her hu*****and, (2) discusses divorce, baby’s custody and supports 按照正規的法律程序來處理.
Although she is weak now, time is on her side. With time goes by, her options do not shrink, but her hu*****and’s posibility of claiming the custody shrink.
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