我也动过手

But I was not arrested. Instead, I was ordered to leave home, separated from my wife, until the next day. The next day, in court, I asked the judge to let me back. After getting my wife's agreement, the city attorney gets the order from the court to let me go back home.

Your case, if you want your hu*****and back,

1) bail him out as soon as possible
2) find a lawyer to represent him in court date, about $1200
3) explain what happen to the city attorney, and your willingness to get him back. City attorney may recommend to the judge a lessen punishment to him, e.g. 婚姻咨询服务.
4) Both or only your hu*****and gets 婚姻咨询服务. I attended something like that 2hr a week, for 6 months. It helped me.

Otherwise, if you don't want him back, do nothing. Let him be charged the most serious possible. Then file a divorce. He will not get the child(ren) for sure.

P.S. 夫妻争执,在所难免. 司法介入,于事无益. 婚姻咨询, 帮助更大. Now my wife and I still 凑合着过. We have two kids.

Only two options:

Adapt or Away -- change yourself (for both of you) to adapt or walk away

Good luck.