It may not be so serious since it is your first time (right?). You may not get it dismissed completely, but you may get some deal to admit some lesser offense which may not damage your future too much.
Ask your spouse to talk and write to DA after consulting your attoney, do some investigation on the immigration consequence, maybe you should get a letter from an immigration attorney about it, then give it to DA. When DA and judge understands how serious the consequence will be, you may get a better deal.
Wait for your attorney to see if there is any deal, then make your decision. In the meantime, do some homework to understand how those will influence your future. If those accusations convicted, you will not come to more countries like Canada and some countries in Europe.
Avoid being in conflict with your spouse again. What happened already happened. Your spouse may not even admit its her fault. However, all of these do not matter now. Only both of you living in peace can make the best outcome.
古之所谓豪杰之士，必有过人之节，人情有所不能忍者。匹夫见辱，拔剑而起，挺身而斗，此不足为勇也。天下有大勇者，卒然临之而不惊，无故加之而不怒，此其所挟持者甚大，而其志甚远也。苏轼「留侯论」
