首先父母要冷静.我的情况比你更糟.而且是糟糕透了.

长话短说. 小儿子四年的时候(去年). 在学校碰到事情, 摔东西, 踢东西. 跟人吵的时候说要杀人,强奸人(I want to kill you, rape you);跟人打架,在学校课桌上刻F>>K.

你知道在美国意味着什么. 学校让他停一个星期课. 强制我们带他去看精神病院. CITY里专门的儿童心理机构...总之弄得焦头烂额.

 

此时做父母的一定要冷静. 不能软了方寸. 在中国小孩子这种表现其实算不了什么,可在美国不一样.

 

事实上我们自己也知道小孩子无非就是顽皮一点(我自己读小学,初中何尝不是如此). 做父母的此时既不能紧张, 又不能放纵. 应该心平气和跟小孩子讲这样做引起的麻纺.商量的口气跟他好好说. 不要骂他.伤害小孩子的天性.孩子的日子来日方长,不要伤了他的自信,天性.另外跟小学沟通,让他们知道你是通情达理的, 也在努力.让他们觉得父母是有学识教养的. 做父母的一定不要让小孩子觉得他是不正常的. 其实男孩子这样挺正常.不正常的是现在矫枉过正的美国学校. 入乡随俗, 我们又不得不按他们的方式做事情.

孩子半年就不一样. 不要用成年人的思维要求小孩. 要耐心.他现在招惹的麻烦逐渐少了.无论如何,父母不要伤害小孩子的自尊心和自信.

儿子读五年级的时候老师要父母描述一下自己对小孩的看法要对老师的要求. 我这里付我写的给你看看.这世界上话都是人说的, 有时候替儿子说说好话多少有点效果.

 

XXX is, in a word, mischievous.

Which sounds like a particularly negative thing until you consider its implications for his education and interactions; first, that it makes him enormously creative and curious. He's always getting into things to find how they work and finding inventive ways to amuse himself. For example, we've caught him more than once trying to figure out the innermost workings of our downstairs toilet (but only after Mom got suspicious that the house had gone too quiet for too long-- and began wondering why there were so many flushing noises coming from the bathroom). Truly, a real-life Denice the Menace.


Secondly, XXX is always and unabashedly blunt and honest; never the one to nitpick or fuss over the little things, he gets over daily squabbles with his brother and the sundry inconveniences of being the youngest child quickly and without holding grudges. And he is most always cheerful and willing to help-- and despite sometimes managing to learn his way into trouble, he unerringly means well and is just generally a sweet, excitable boy.

My hope for XXX this year is that he grows in what he knows but doesn't lose his childish air or imagination; I'd love to see that his dreams remain boundary-less, but at the same time, his age and the world mandates that he become more aware of the world.

But truly, to this end, I have few concerns-- and complete faith that my son is a good-hearted child and that he is in good hands this year.

 

 

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• 你有你的point，保护自己孩子的自尊自信，也没有错。可是，想想别的孩子 -??qiguai??- ♀ (485 bytes) () 12/27/2010 postreply 22:57:17