You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,160;
or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,160;
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:160;
"Hu*****and Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your hu*****and,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished160;
.
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."160;
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,160;
and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.160;
If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.160;
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.160;
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."160;
"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man , to Love and to forgive him , and for patience, For his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"160;
AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!
Hu*****and and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.160;
So the hu*****and and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the hu*****and gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."160;
The blind man replies, "If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so SHUT THE HELL UP."
