The Day the Penis Asked for a Raise
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor;
I work at great depth;
I plunge headfirst into everything I do;
I work in a damp environment;
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation;
I work in high temperatures;
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The response from the management:
Dear P. Niss:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raise, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours a day straight;
You fall asleep after a brief work period;
You do not always follow the orders of the management team;
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations;
You do not take initiative----you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working;
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift;
You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing;
You will retire well before you are 65;
You are unable to work double shifts;
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed you assigned task;
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor;
I work at great depth;
I plunge headfirst into everything I do;
I work in a damp environment;
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation;
I work in high temperatures;
My work exposes me to contagious diseases.
Sincerely,
P. Niss
The response from the management:
Dear P. Niss:
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raise, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours a day straight;
You fall asleep after a brief work period;
You do not always follow the orders of the management team;
You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations;
You do not take initiative----you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working;
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift;
You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing;
You will retire well before you are 65;
You are unable to work double shifts;
You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed you assigned task;
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
Sincerely,
V. Gina
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