http://www.douban.com/group/topic/44096848/
<Healing Pluto Problems> Donna Cunningham
"If they like you, you're it. No easing in and exploring each other, then making up your mind. Possibly, with their keen insight into people, that's all the time it takes to make a valid psychological assessment, but nonetheless it can scare off folks who need longer to make a commitment."
"Fearing abandonment, they attempt to bind the lover with mechanisms described earlier. Out of desperate fear, they often tragically create the abandonment they work so hard to aboid, for they wind up being suffocating."
如果冥王星人喜欢你,那就是你了。没有缓冲,或者慢慢相处的空隙,他们很快就会把爱燃烧地极其热烈。也许,凭着冥王星人对人敏锐的洞察力,只需要这么短时间就可以做出有效的心理意义上的论断。但是,这样仍然会吓跑那些需要更长相处时间来决定是否深爱的人。
害怕被遗弃,他们会试图制造一些过早的机制来绑住爱人。只为走出那令人绝望的恐惧,讽刺的是——他们往往会悲剧性地亲手创造自己所努力避免的被遗弃局面,终究被困住、窒息。
"Most of the time, people who do too much for us or give too much to us don't do it out of the sheer goodness of their hearts. They do it because they want to call the shots. Is it really goodness to rob someone of the oppotunity to learn and grow into greater independence? Is it goodness to make you believe you're incompetent to make a move without them? At some level, you know you're being robbed, and you come to resent the symbiosis. When you assert yourself or "selfishly" want to do what you need for your own happiness and futher development, your so-called benefactor pulls the strings to manipulate you into guilty. Again, the plutonian motive is control. It's all very subtle, of course, and that's why it's so effective."
大多时候,人们为你做太多或者给你太多并不完全出于好心,他们有所图。剥夺别人学习与更进一步独立的机会真的就是一件好事?又或者让你相信没有他们你就动弹不得真的很好?在某种程度上,你知道自己被洗劫了,而且你痛恨这种依赖关系。当你坚持自己,或者“自私”地想要追求自己的幸福与发展时,你所谓的恩人就会绷紧手中操纵的线来让你觉得愧疚。不管怎么说,冥王星人的动机就是控制。这非常细微,不过当然——也是其如此有效的原因。
Sometimes we carry resentments around for years after these painful partings. This is also an illusory power trip—a way of holding on to other people, even though they may have long since forgotten us. We fantasize about meeting them again—or "dread" another meeting. We fantasize getting even. We fantasize getting rich and powerful—or dead—just to show them or to make them sorry they ever left us. The very folks we love to hate are usually the ones we once loved the most. It doesn't give us power over them, but it gives them immense power over us. In hanging onto the resentment long after the relationship has ended, we are still giving over power to the other person. The more we resent someone or something, the more power we give up, and the more we are controlled. These people become immensely important in our lives, even though we may now be insignificant in theirs. As we brood over them, they grow in our imagination, becoming less and less the real people we loved and more and more bigger-than-life monsters. Go visit the dragon; you may find nothing but a worm.
有时在那些痛苦的分离之后我们带着恨意很多年。这亦是一场虚幻的权力较量之旅——一种执着对方不放的方法,尽管他们早就忘了我们是谁。我们想象着再次见到,或者害怕再见到;想象着以牙还牙以眼还眼;想象着变得富有且充满力量,或者死掉,仅仅为了向他们显示什么从而让他们因离开而觉得愧疚。这个我们恨的人曾是最爱。所有行为并不会赋予我们凌驾于他人之上的力量,正好相反:即使关系已经结束很多年,我们仍被恨意攫住,向他们灌注无穷的能量。我们愈恨某人,就放弃愈多权力,也愈被控制得厉害;这些人在我们生命中变得无比重要,即使我们于他们毫无意义。“它们”在我们的思维里酝酿,想象中成长,变得越来越不像曾经爱的人而更接近一头超越现实生活的猛兽。去拜访那条恶龙吧!你会发现它只是一条不起眼的小虫。