翻译非常好,只是提点小小建议供参考:

1) O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the works Thy hands have made; I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder Thy power throughout the universe displayed. (Repeat from here)Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee: How great Thou art,  How great Thou art!
    (本人翻译版)噢主我神,每逢我举目张望,你双手所造的一切神迹奇事;我看見星宿,又听到隆隆雷声,你的全能,覆盖全宇空。(重复此句)我以灵魂赞颂,我的救主神:多么伟大,你真伟大!

你的大能展现宇宙中   (我想这里强调的是 displayed)

2) 2. When through the woods and forest glades I wander, and hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees; when I look down from lofty mountain grandeur, and hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze: (Repeat from here)Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee: How great Thou art,  How great Thou art! 
    (本人翻译版)当我漫步,穿越林中的空旷,听见鸟在树上甜蜜地歌唱;在高远之巅,我俯瞰山林河谷,聆听溪流轻抚温煦和风:(重复此句)我以灵魂赞颂,我的救主神:多么伟大,你真伟大!

当我漫步于空旷的林中,听鸟儿在树上甜蜜地歌唱;当我登上高山之巅,俯瞰山林河谷,聆听溪流,感受和风:

3)流血而死为要赦免我的罪:为赦免我罪 流血而死

 

谢谢你的翻译,很喜欢!

 


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