think I had more choices at 23:-). Not to find excuse for him

But let's be realistic here------Ideally he will be more Chinese but life is not ideal and will never be. cannot control whom I met and when and how. Realistically I don't think he will learn Chinese or become more Chinese, and all my prior bf did not change for me / the relationship which was why it did not work out.

You cannot foundamentally change someone at 30 something. At 13 maybe.

No offense. He is just not that Chinese. That is what I have to deal with now. Based on what I see now, think it could work out with him, except that we both do not have jobs now.