An opportunity to develop her sense of the “self”

Why would others want to play with her? Does she have an attractive personality? What can she bring to the table that others find interesting? What is in her character that others feel good to be associated with?

To answer these questions, she needs first to establish in her the "self" that is uniquely hers and independent of others by moving her reference point into herself, so that she becomes a source of inspiration for others, instead of a drain. By then, she'll be a magnet for friends.

Train her to think more and feel less. Ask for her opinion and give her time to come up with an answer. Discuss her reasoning, whatever her reasoning is would be okay with you as long as she offers clarity. You can guide her with your values. Where did she position her self in the picture? Was she even in the picture? What was her priority?

(Many Chinese children having problems is because they did not get to develop that mental sense of self, which is called for in a Western society. Their physical self is exposed, and vulnerable because their mental sense of self is weak and too small to cover that physical self. And by nature, that physical self senses that vulnerability, so he acts up, a cry for a protective cover. Parents provide that cover initially, but should cultivate the child's own cover, because eventually the child will have to be on his own.)