We treat children as equals.
So they do choirs, celebrate everyone's birthday, pay part of their tuitions, .....
They have their lives to live, and we have our lives to enjoy as well
Black life matters! All lives matter! Parent lives matter!
Give your children the opportunities to show respect and gratitude to others, including you. One of the requirements of college app is passion, and nothing is more important than having passion towards family. If they can volunteer in school, of course they can do choirs at home.