Your concern is the child may not be able to deal

with adversity well.

The room may be a reflection of the mind.  If it is too neat and clean,  little dirt will make a big impact.

If the child has a sensitive (or weak) constitution, he may be bothered by the chaotic noise in other parts of his life.  Making his room neat and orderly pleases the senses.

If the child did not have a satisfactory bonding with one or both parents, she may find a neat and cozy room as a substitute in order to feel secure.

If a child with a messy room can handle adversity better, it's not because the messiness of his room, but because he does not have those underlying issues.

To help a child deal with adversity:

- Strengthen the emotional bond between parents and child. We love you. We may not approve what you did, but we always love you.  (The raw nerve exposed by the lack of that bond is the root cause of most psychological issues.)

- Life is not fair.  Bad things happen. 

- No one owes you anything. If you desire something, demand it, and you are worthy of it.

- Life is suffering.  One must do something to make it less so.  Learn things so that you become capable.

- Failure is OK.  If you haven't failed, you haven't tried. 

- If you delay the outcome in search of perfection, it only means that you don't want to be responsible for that outcome.

- Be responsible for yourself. Be willing to take the blame.  You haven't accomplished much if having not been blamed for anything.

- Value yourself.  Your worth is not measured by what others think of you, but by your courage and willingness to shoulder yourself.

- Choose to be happy, because unhappiness is also a choice.

- Be aware of your own unconscious mind and act with a clear intention, i.e., not a reflex.