I feel exact the same way.

sometime he is so sweet, sometime I just want to leave the house. this morning after he woke up, he came to me smiling and said good morning, i asked who is this,he said I am your baby, I asked will a baby hurt his mom, he said no, and apologized again. I set the rules before, but he still play rough sometimes. hopefully he will learn a lesson this time. I asked what did he think after mom was mad, he said he thought mom doesn't love him and  he want to go to africa to find a lion as a mom. maybe I should change to another way to deal with this later.