Especially in the elementary schools, we were always surprised by what our children had done. In middle school, we only went to their first "achievement award" night.
Only when our DD was in 11th grade, I started to pay attention to her activities related to standard test and essay.
Our son is now in 11th grade and he is take 5 AP plus two difficult classes. We are not really doing any thing. The night before PSAT, we said you need to go to bed early and that was about it.
You moms (not just LZ) are crazy if you are pushing your children from 5 years old.