I give him a juvinile literature book. After reading it, he wrote it in front of computer. some words such as name in the book are filled after he finished his first draft.
Time took --- estimately total
He is 9 old now and will turn 10 this year soon.
He was trained for about two months writing under my supervision.
There are obvious grammar mistakes.
I hope someone here would comment on that from academic point of view.
===========================================================
Words 1500
King Tutankhamun
from book Kids Who Rule
setting: Valley Of The Kings
A guy name Howard Carter were staring at a painting on the wall. One with king Tut on his chariot, with a bow and arrow ready to shoot, and chasing an ostrich. At Carter's feet was a fan almost rotted away, made with the feathers of an ostrich. It all started with Carter giving up his five-year search for a phahroh. So his patron told him he was going to lose money for this, then Carter pleaded for another chance, and his patron gave him another chance. Carter knew that this was his last chance, so he decided to search next to the tomb of Rameses VI, who died 200 years ago after Tutankhamun's death. So he asked the ruins of huts be removed. The huts were in ruins because of the other archeoligists trying to find other tombs. So after his workers removed the ruins, they found a staircase. Carter knew immediately that he found a tomb. When they went down the staircase, they saw a sealed door with King Tutankhamun written in hieroglyphics. Then there came a long passage leading to another sealed door. Carter drilled a hole in the door, and found out that in the room was full of treasures. And somehow the thieves got scared away by the tomb guards that resealed the door. The theives also left a trail of treasures. There was gold, food, cloth, statues, thrones, beds, figures of animals, toys, baskets, wine, furniture, weapons, chariots and treasures. And also there was a coffin of gold put into a box with transparent glass. There were about 5, 000 things, all jumbled in three small rooms. It took 10 years for Carter and his workers to pass over all the treasures. First they numbered the stuff and photographed the stuff. Not only were there many riches, but an artifact of a boy's life. Egyptians believed that the dead goes to an afterlife. It's a life after this life. So they need furniture, food, clothing, and the things we need here. The clothes show what the boy was dressed. When he was small, he would have gone naked. But when he was big enough to wear cloth, he would wear a little skirt with a loincloth under it. Loinclothes were underwears for boys. And there were 145 loinclothes were buried with him! He also had socks for his big toe for wearing the sandals on cold desert days. The special feature of the sandals was that it has the pictre of his enemies. So with every step, he symbollically crushes his enemies. The food that was buried with him, showed what was his favorite dishes. His proteins came from meat like goose and others. So he was a healthy boy. There were also 116 fruit baskets, including raisins, dates, and figs. So here's the history: King Tut was the son Akhenaten. We aren't sure who was his father or mother, but it is possible for Akhenaten was Tut's father and Nefretiti as his mother and they all had three sons. But the phahroh must be Tut's older brother. At the age of five, Tut's father died, and then a shadowy figure called Smenkhkare took over the throne. We know very little about this figure. He only ruled Egypt for four years and disappeared from our historical record.Tutankhamen was crowned king when he was only nine. Since he was too young to rule by his own, he hired two officals to help him. Horemheb was young, strong, and invincible in battles. Horemheb was thought to be his military teacher, because his people needed their phahrohs to guide them in battles. The best hunting grounds were in Giza near the pyramids. It provided a wealth of ostrichs, lions, gazelles, and antelope. And Ay was very old but was the grand vizier and had been a powerful figure in Akhenaten's goverment. He slept in an proper bed with a linen covering. In Egypt, linen was very popular for both man and women, because they are very cool, and Egypt is very hot. Like all kids, he would like rough games, like arm-wrestling, a game much like bowling, and both old and young love board games. Four versions of the board game Senet was buried with Tutankhamun. Senet is 5, 000 years old. Senet means " passing ", which explains the game: trying to get your pawns past your enemies pawns and out of the board. The board is divided into 30 squares, but the last five squares provide the most challenging. one square is "good", and one is " bad ". Like in snakes and ladders, it can lead to disaster or victory. They use knucklebones and sticks to see how many squares they can move. But no one has ever found a rule book. Archeoligists are putting several hours to find out how the game is played. And Senet was a game of luck and was thought to help you guide through the afterlife. Win, and you go to heaven, and lose, you perish in hell. Maybe that's why four versions of the game was buried with Tutankhamun, or maybe it was just his favorite game. He was only five, when he was taken away from his homeland to live in a palace in Amarnanear Giza. At the courtyard was many fountains and trees. And on the pavement was straw mats. Like all houses, the palace walls was made of mud bricks. So when he was old enough, Tutankhamun was old enough, he married his sister. Most girls get married at the age of 14 and started having babys imediately. Phahrohs usually marry their sisters to show the closeness to the gods. The Egyptians also thought that as long as they worship the gods, the gods will make their lives better. So to do this, the phahroh had to give out sacred rituals, and build temples for them. The priests were in power during that time. But when Akhenaten lived, the priests weren't in power, and the people who depended on the churches for money, had no money. Akhenaten said that there's only one god: Atem, the sun god, and banned all other gods. Akhenaten also said that Atem only gave power to the phahroh, so the people had to worship the phahroh. And since only the phahroh can talk to Atem, the churches closed, and Akhenaten wanted to build a temple for the new god. But to do this, he had to move Egypts capital from Thebes to Amarna. And that's what he did. When Akhenaten died, and Tutankhamun was crowned king, the grand vizier putted everything back to normal. But when Tutankhamun was 19 years old, ready to rule his country by himself, died unexpectely. Everytime a phahroh was crowned, the people imediately began building it's pyramid, and Tutankhamen's pyramid was nowhere near done. So the people gave the priests and servants 70 days to finish ( that was how much time it would take to mummify a person. ). The organs and brain was first removed, dried, and stored in miniture coffins. The reason for this is, because the Egyptians believed that when the spirit comes back, it will need it's organs back, so the organs needed to be kept safe by the gods until thet. ( the other steps to mummify a person is explained in one of my articals called " mummies " ). So after it was done, they brought Tutkanhamen to the pyramids and a ritual was made. Ay touched Tutankhamen's ears, mouth, hands, eyes, and nose to awaken his senses when his spirit comes back. After the ritual, the people put the coffin in a sled, and putted it inside its burial chamber with its other gifts. Then they painted gods helping the spirit through the afterlife, and cobras to protect the coffin. After all that, they sealed the door and earased their footsteps. Since Tutankhamun died without an heir, Ay took over the throne and ruled for four years and died. After Ay died, Ankhesenamun Tutankhamun's wife, sented a letter to Egypt's enemy, the Hittites and begged them to sent her a hu*****and. But the Hittite's prince was killed at the borders of Egypt. Maybe Horemheb killed him. So Horemheb was left to take over the throne. When he was as king, he made the people erase Tutankhamun, Ay, and Akhenaten's name from everything. We never knew what killed Tutankhamun, because it was damaged badly by Carter and workers. So we couldn't tell which one just happened, or was happened a long time ago. But during 2005, with permission from the Egyptian authority, we used CT scan to scan the body and came with these results: one was a damage in his skull. Maybe when they were removing his brain, but a damage in his thigh seemed original. A disease must have came in through the damge and killed him. Or another one said that he had an injury in his leg and fractured it.
Time took --- estimately total
He is 9 old now and will turn 10 this year soon.
He was trained for about two months writing under my supervision.
There are obvious grammar mistakes.
I hope someone here would comment on that from academic point of view.
===========================================================
Words 1500
King Tutankhamun
from book Kids Who Rule
setting: Valley Of The Kings
A guy name Howard Carter were staring at a painting on the wall. One with king Tut on his chariot, with a bow and arrow ready to shoot, and chasing an ostrich. At Carter's feet was a fan almost rotted away, made with the feathers of an ostrich. It all started with Carter giving up his five-year search for a phahroh. So his patron told him he was going to lose money for this, then Carter pleaded for another chance, and his patron gave him another chance. Carter knew that this was his last chance, so he decided to search next to the tomb of Rameses VI, who died 200 years ago after Tutankhamun's death. So he asked the ruins of huts be removed. The huts were in ruins because of the other archeoligists trying to find other tombs. So after his workers removed the ruins, they found a staircase. Carter knew immediately that he found a tomb. When they went down the staircase, they saw a sealed door with King Tutankhamun written in hieroglyphics. Then there came a long passage leading to another sealed door. Carter drilled a hole in the door, and found out that in the room was full of treasures. And somehow the thieves got scared away by the tomb guards that resealed the door. The theives also left a trail of treasures. There was gold, food, cloth, statues, thrones, beds, figures of animals, toys, baskets, wine, furniture, weapons, chariots and treasures. And also there was a coffin of gold put into a box with transparent glass. There were about 5, 000 things, all jumbled in three small rooms. It took 10 years for Carter and his workers to pass over all the treasures. First they numbered the stuff and photographed the stuff. Not only were there many riches, but an artifact of a boy's life. Egyptians believed that the dead goes to an afterlife. It's a life after this life. So they need furniture, food, clothing, and the things we need here. The clothes show what the boy was dressed. When he was small, he would have gone naked. But when he was big enough to wear cloth, he would wear a little skirt with a loincloth under it. Loinclothes were underwears for boys. And there were 145 loinclothes were buried with him! He also had socks for his big toe for wearing the sandals on cold desert days. The special feature of the sandals was that it has the pictre of his enemies. So with every step, he symbollically crushes his enemies. The food that was buried with him, showed what was his favorite dishes. His proteins came from meat like goose and others. So he was a healthy boy. There were also 116 fruit baskets, including raisins, dates, and figs. So here's the history: King Tut was the son Akhenaten. We aren't sure who was his father or mother, but it is possible for Akhenaten was Tut's father and Nefretiti as his mother and they all had three sons. But the phahroh must be Tut's older brother. At the age of five, Tut's father died, and then a shadowy figure called Smenkhkare took over the throne. We know very little about this figure. He only ruled Egypt for four years and disappeared from our historical record.Tutankhamen was crowned king when he was only nine. Since he was too young to rule by his own, he hired two officals to help him. Horemheb was young, strong, and invincible in battles. Horemheb was thought to be his military teacher, because his people needed their phahrohs to guide them in battles. The best hunting grounds were in Giza near the pyramids. It provided a wealth of ostrichs, lions, gazelles, and antelope. And Ay was very old but was the grand vizier and had been a powerful figure in Akhenaten's goverment. He slept in an proper bed with a linen covering. In Egypt, linen was very popular for both man and women, because they are very cool, and Egypt is very hot. Like all kids, he would like rough games, like arm-wrestling, a game much like bowling, and both old and young love board games. Four versions of the board game Senet was buried with Tutankhamun. Senet is 5, 000 years old. Senet means " passing ", which explains the game: trying to get your pawns past your enemies pawns and out of the board. The board is divided into 30 squares, but the last five squares provide the most challenging. one square is "good", and one is " bad ". Like in snakes and ladders, it can lead to disaster or victory. They use knucklebones and sticks to see how many squares they can move. But no one has ever found a rule book. Archeoligists are putting several hours to find out how the game is played. And Senet was a game of luck and was thought to help you guide through the afterlife. Win, and you go to heaven, and lose, you perish in hell. Maybe that's why four versions of the game was buried with Tutankhamun, or maybe it was just his favorite game. He was only five, when he was taken away from his homeland to live in a palace in Amarnanear Giza. At the courtyard was many fountains and trees. And on the pavement was straw mats. Like all houses, the palace walls was made of mud bricks. So when he was old enough, Tutankhamun was old enough, he married his sister. Most girls get married at the age of 14 and started having babys imediately. Phahrohs usually marry their sisters to show the closeness to the gods. The Egyptians also thought that as long as they worship the gods, the gods will make their lives better. So to do this, the phahroh had to give out sacred rituals, and build temples for them. The priests were in power during that time. But when Akhenaten lived, the priests weren't in power, and the people who depended on the churches for money, had no money. Akhenaten said that there's only one god: Atem, the sun god, and banned all other gods. Akhenaten also said that Atem only gave power to the phahroh, so the people had to worship the phahroh. And since only the phahroh can talk to Atem, the churches closed, and Akhenaten wanted to build a temple for the new god. But to do this, he had to move Egypts capital from Thebes to Amarna. And that's what he did. When Akhenaten died, and Tutankhamun was crowned king, the grand vizier putted everything back to normal. But when Tutankhamun was 19 years old, ready to rule his country by himself, died unexpectely. Everytime a phahroh was crowned, the people imediately began building it's pyramid, and Tutankhamen's pyramid was nowhere near done. So the people gave the priests and servants 70 days to finish ( that was how much time it would take to mummify a person. ). The organs and brain was first removed, dried, and stored in miniture coffins. The reason for this is, because the Egyptians believed that when the spirit comes back, it will need it's organs back, so the organs needed to be kept safe by the gods until thet. ( the other steps to mummify a person is explained in one of my articals called " mummies " ). So after it was done, they brought Tutkanhamen to the pyramids and a ritual was made. Ay touched Tutankhamen's ears, mouth, hands, eyes, and nose to awaken his senses when his spirit comes back. After the ritual, the people put the coffin in a sled, and putted it inside its burial chamber with its other gifts. Then they painted gods helping the spirit through the afterlife, and cobras to protect the coffin. After all that, they sealed the door and earased their footsteps. Since Tutankhamun died without an heir, Ay took over the throne and ruled for four years and died. After Ay died, Ankhesenamun Tutankhamun's wife, sented a letter to Egypt's enemy, the Hittites and begged them to sent her a hu*****and. But the Hittite's prince was killed at the borders of Egypt. Maybe Horemheb killed him. So Horemheb was left to take over the throne. When he was as king, he made the people erase Tutankhamun, Ay, and Akhenaten's name from everything. We never knew what killed Tutankhamun, because it was damaged badly by Carter and workers. So we couldn't tell which one just happened, or was happened a long time ago. But during 2005, with permission from the Egyptian authority, we used CT scan to scan the body and came with these results: one was a damage in his skull. Maybe when they were removing his brain, but a damage in his thigh seemed original. A disease must have came in through the damge and killed him. Or another one said that he had an injury in his leg and fractured it.
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