Marilyn vos Savant: Checks and Balances in Education vs. Parenta

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Checks and Balances in Education vs. Parental Abstinence

Education is definitely a community effort. When I say community, I mean it takes equal committment

from the school, from the student and from the parent. We all have our roles. If one slips, the other

two are there to pick them back up again. It is very simliar to the "Checks and Balances" system of

our own government.

But do all view it this way? Unfortunately not. Because our roles as teachers, parents and students

are abstractly defined, there are no "guidelines" for checking and balancing. It must come from

within, and unfortunately not everyone is programmed to do so.

I have taught school for over 20 years. In that amount of time I have seen trends come and go. I have

seen students that were highly motivated and I have taught students who barely understood what

education was about. I have seen students such as this also blossom right before your very eyes. And

that happens when the 3 way "community" of school, parents and students all work in harmony.

So what can parents do to help their children reach their full potential in school?

1) They must make sure their child feels loved.

Sounds simple right? Easy one!! (you would think) But often times the brightest of children will not

work up to their potential because they feel they don't matter to anyone. Each and every child was

brought into this world by two parents that not only have the responsibility but the OPPORTUNITY to

love a being in a way that will make that child feel as though they are important. When they feel

important and worthy.......they succeed in order to keep feeling their worth. Always love your child!

2) Establish boundaries from day one of your child's life.

I've often said, if you can hang in there and be the major "law enforcer" for the first 4 years of

your child's life, you will seriously feel you are on auto pilot as they cruise through the school

years. Ok sure you've heard over and over again that kids need and crave boundaries. Yes. But that

does not mean they are going to ask for them. Are they stupid?? So they expect us as parents to create

them.........but not too late. You have to do this early to set the moral standards and values you

hope will guide your child as they make to aduthood. When your child enters kindergarten and hears

their teacher saying the same things that you've been teaching them during the first years of their

life, imagine the connection they make!! "My Mommy and Daddy are right!" You win credibility with

them. They trust and rely that what you say is right. When they see that their teacher feels the say

way..........He or she also wins credibility. "She is just like my mommy!" This is when community

works. Student trusts teacher / teacher substantiates parents / parent relies and trust in teacher.

This leads us to the third item on our list.........

3) Keep the lines of communication open with your child and with your child's teacher.

When your student hears the teacher confirm what you have already taught him, he comes home and tells

you. And that keeps lines of communication open with your child. Establish "talking time" each night

at the dinner table, at bed time, or after homework. Whatever is best for you. But to "deprogram"

after the school day is an important step for your child. It keeps you informed and it lets your child

know you are interested in him. It also sends a message out to the child that this is something

important.........worthy.....n... But your parental communication shouldn't just stop with the child.

Teachers MUST show responsibility by communicating isses with the parents and parents with the

teachers. This is why parent / teacher conferences are so imperative. Explain to the teacher how your

child operates. Help her/him to get to know your child. And listen to what your teacher tells you

about your child's behavior in the classroom. Be open to the fact that children behave differently at

school than at home. Don't be close minded and never say "My child would never!"

Parent/teacher/student conferences are now becoming very popular. There is not "Middle man" delivering

information. The child knows that what his parents know his teacher will also know and vice versa.

Students have a chance to explain things before everyone as do parents and teachers without

misinterpretation from the "middle man" of heresay. Parents.....be open to this idea. It will do so

much for your child!

4) Hold your child accountable.

In truth......everyone should be held accountable. Teachers have the role of providing knowledge and

various means by which to grasp this information. They must provide methods and purpose and

motivational means which will help students learn. Students must accept the responsibilites and be

held accountable for completing assignments and tasks expected of them. Parents must provide their

children with means in order to do this. Parents can not over program their children and then expect

them to still have the time and energy to be a 'student.'


The main point is that our parents, teachers and students must work as a team. Parents must stay

involved. This holds teacher and students accountable. Teachers must keep everyone informed. This

enables parents to know when to confront their children with praise or motivation. Students must put

forth full effort enabling parents and teachers to see that they can indeed reach their full potential

once they feel loved and worthy.

Parents are the key. Afterall........without you.......where are the children?

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