It's not fair to set goals for kids to reach

来源: elfie 2023-04-07 19:35:16 [] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读: 次 (1634 bytes)
本文内容已被 [ elfie ] 在 2023-04-07 19:39:18 编辑过。如有问题,请报告版主或论坛管理删除.
回答: 爬藤的意义有风景的房间2023-04-07 15:11:02

They may not interested in getting into the most selective schools. It's not everyone's best choice of life. As a parent I don't want to micromanage my children's life paths. They could just be kids when they're kids, go out socializing with other teens. They can start dating and finding a job in the store or restaurant. If they want to study hard, it's fine too. But I'm not going to force them to apply to those exclusive colleges and manipulate it like in a science lab. Parents are going overboard sometimes, like molding kids to be the continuation of their own dreamed lives. Dads want to make their sons into football stars, daughters into tennis champions, etc... It can't be healthy for the kids. They might be successful on the surface, but feel different inside.  Because they are not in control of their own lives and not have the real motivation to do all that parents ask them to do. One day or another it'll be a problem. If kids really feel it's what they want to do, they're the success of the experiment. But most time the pressure put on the teens' brains backfire in later life. They don't feel they have the ownership of the success they are awarded. It feels thrust on them by others, their parents and teachers. Then there  might be depression, burnout. One day or another, people need to find the true meaning of life by themselves, not given by others. Whatever that meaning is, it doesn't need to be money or fame, or popularity. It's definitely not gonna be going to ivy league schools.

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