写的挺好的，挑错挺难的。真要挑错的话，我个人的意见是：

写的挺好的，要挑刺挺难的。如果真的非要挑刺不可，我有以下个人看法：

1.  第一段里面写道，

 

“Although Billy’s team lost, I was so happy to see him growing up in front of my eyes during a very difficult situation.”

 

“See him growing up” : 看着他成长。第二段和第三段的大部分并没有展开如何看着他成长，只讲了他在一个很困难的情况下加入职业队的，刚开始并不被队里看好。然后第三段最后一句才讲到他成功的被职业队接受了。看着他成功地被职业队接受就是看着他成长吗？我觉得有些突兀。

 

2.

“His big sister was home, she said “Don’t be silly, Billy won’t lose because you watch his game.“”

以上这里，两个逗号应该都是句号。

==

1. Billy became a PRO gamer a few day ago. His team is called Dignitas. You can google it or check Billy’s shows on YouTube. I watched a live stream yesterday. Although Billy’s team lost, I was so happy to see him growing up in front of my eyes during a very difficult situation.

2. Billy got into the Pro level at a bad time. He joined his team after the season started because one of the team members had an attitude issue.  The team used Billy to replace him. Billy didn’t have time to practice with his team and he didn’t have prior experience in a Pro level.  No one expected him to come out well. I checked online; a few people put negative comments about him or the team for the move.

3. In the beginning of the game, the announcer said Billy didn’t show his ability in previous games and needed to man up blah, blah. I was worried about Billy and at that moment, he hadn't signed his contract yet.  I couldn’t bring myself to watch the game. His big sister was home, she said “Don’t be silly, Billy won’t lose because you watch his game.“
Yesterday Billy showed the world who was a Boss.

4. His play name is BillyBoss.