让孩子在群体中成长,about piano, and sports

来源: 山里妈 2017-02-26 17:41:20 [] [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读: 次 (3674 bytes)

   A few years ago, a Chinese parent was telling me some Chinese are trying to establish a Chinese language program in the school district. But just could not succeed because a few Chinese were playing too much politics. It is not because of too much politics. Anywhere there are more than 3 people, of course there are politics. it is likely because they don't know how to play team politics. They do not know how to accomplish the team goal even though different individuals have different motivations in mind (每个人都打各自的小算盘)do not know how to succeed despite of those conflicts...

  On the other hand, look at what us Chinese parents are pushing our kids  everyday. Piano, violin ,... Sports, yes, tennis, swimming, ... most are individual activities. Group activities normally are side dish or snack.

What our kids are trained everyday is individual excellence. There is only one champion. Either you are the only king, or you are nobody. (要不当皇帝,要不是草民) So if someone else is very close to you, he(she) is your competitor, no teammate. No need for teamwork and dealing with team politics.

No wonder there is this kind of author exist in Chinese American. (https://mobile.nytimes.com/2017/01/30/opinion/white-students-unfair-advantage-in-admissions.html?_r=0&referer=)”I would not have preferred to go to a Yale that was predominantly Asian." Of course, because not only himself, but a lot of his Asian classmates are used to play alone and excel alone by doing piano, tennis. The more Asian , the less opportunities to excel.

Have you ever heard African American complained about too many Africans in NBA, NFL? Have you seen Jews complained about too many Jews in business?  They do not like some of their own people either. But in the end of the day, they work together despite all the conflicts within. Because they have been doing  those things together day after day since childhood, playing team sports, going to church, fighting with each other yet working together.  They learned everyday as long as they work as a group , they will achieve much more as a group than as each individual.

For those who does not want to be classmates with too many of his(her) own race in schools like UC Berkeley, just do not go there. Or transfer to another school. Nothing wrong with that. Many Chinese do not like to live in an Asian Community that many residents do not like to contribute to the community. It is very normal and understandable. Just try to live somewhere else. But keep in mind, in this country, before you are identified as anybody, you are identified by your color, means you in the group called Asian or Chinese. This is your base. If you wrote  in NYtimes that you do not like to see too many  classmate from your own race just because of race. It shows you do not want to be in the group you are borned to be with.  It is doubtful that you can go farther even as a Yale graduate.

So many Asian kids are excellent in different ways. Of course a lot of them are in piano... This is normal because this is what they are good at and love. But do wish they can prosper in a community and learn to deal with all kinds of politics. It is ok to have conflicts even with your friends and teammates, your own people. But in the end, we can only proceed further as a group and we will proceed much further as a group. Our kids need to learn that, practice that, and experience that day by day. 




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    所有跟帖: 

    见过太多中国父母把孩子从集体活动中quit出来,为了参加能突出个人成绩的活动。哎! -newnewid888- 给 newnewid888 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 18:00:15

    因为集体活动花时间,效率不高:) --百科-- 给 -百科- 发送悄悄话 -百科- 的博客首页 (80 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 18:07:32

    很多父母认为孩子不是集体活动中的主力,或是最top 的,就觉得没意义再继续下去。急功近利。 -newnewid888- 给 newnewid888 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 18:18:13

    别骂家长 -萧紫箬- 给 萧紫箬 发送悄悄话 (165 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 18:46:47

    不觉得进大疼就是我们中国人的目标。 -newnewid888- 给 newnewid888 发送悄悄话 (229 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 19:19:02

    所以先要不爬藤,才可以去做集体项目。不爬藤好处其实不少:) --百科-- 给 -百科- 发送悄悄话 -百科- 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 23:01:23

    "before you are identified as anybody, you are identified by you -Doggy1- 给 Doggy1 发送悄悄话 (456 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 18:10:08

    “If you wrote in NYtimes that you do not like to see too many -Doggy1- 给 Doggy1 发送悄悄话 (454 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 18:12:41

    中国孩子想进校队啊什么的挺不容易的 -Free9- 给 Free9 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 18:42:41

    我读书少 ,你不能骗我啊 -545f- 给 545f 发送悄悄话 545f 的博客首页 (116 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 19:07:28

    谢谢写了这么多,不过应尽力不要以点盖面,语气软化一些 -dummvogel- 给 dummvogel 发送悄悄话 (645 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 19:08:44

    我智商太低居然没看懂楼主到底要表达什么。 -Rockeymountain- 给 Rockeymountain 发送悄悄话 Rockeymountain 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 19:22:42

    你有点占据制高点的意思。这其实也是中国人的通病。竞争其实其他种族也都有。亚裔有亚裔的特点而已。 -greenoasis- 给 greenoasis 发送悄悄话 (77 bytes) () 02/26/2017 postreply 19:35:28

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