all kids starts as small fishes. According normal curve, most kids will become middle-sized fishes. If no parent's help, s/he will stay in a small pool, and became the best one when comparing with her/his work-peers. When you are proud of this self-motivated kid, don't you relized that s/he might deserve to be in a bigger pool?
for sample, my math teacher in a hinderland of china was a 17 old girl. Her parents was both engineers. The parents are sheeps. The girl self-taught Univ math. The parents never pushed her to go to a formal univ, or chase a higher degree. She is good looking, so she married early. I guess she must have talent. So, what! She stayed in that hinderland villege all her life. She certainly is that best teacher in the county. But she missed all the wonders of a bigger outside worlds. Her children no long has her talent. They become one of the immigrant workers now.
What is your choice ---
(1) your middle-sized kids stay in a small pool, if s/he discovered the small-Universe, s/he will be the best in the small pool. And if s/he has some luck (such as 跟风同学 ) , s/he jumps into a nearby middle pool. If s/he chose to layback, well, not so bad, s/he will have an easy childhood and easy adulthood.
(2) You promote the kids to a big pool. If s/he discovered the small-Universe, s/he will the best in the big pool. More realistic based on statistics, s/he finds out later of her/his relative size comparing to peers, s/he may choose to layback and becomes a rider (not a driver) in the big pool, or scale down to a middle pool, or even scale down to a small pool. When s/he chose layback, that is a conscious and informative decision --- S/he has seen the big world.
Sheep parents, when you say that you are giving kids the chance to choose their life, you are actually deprive (or limit) them of the choices when they are old enough to make the choice.
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