这娃到底是怎么了

今天收到老师的email:

Hi Xxx,

I'm including your parents on this email because I think it should turn into a conversation between you and them. 
 

I was surprised today when you chose to insult another student in our Drama class.  I was taking everyone's pictures for their acting resumés, and one of the requirements was a smile with teeth.  When another student in the class smiled, you said, "Your teeth are so demented."  

This was a hurtful insult that you said straight to his face in front of other students.  You intended to make him feel embarrassed.  You probably caused him to feel terrible about his teeth.  I am not sure if you are mature enough to understand this, but people usually insult others when they feel insecure about themselves.  It sounds like you need to have a conversation with your family about ways that you can learn to be kind and also deal with insecurities that you may have.  
 

I hope that I can count on you to be kind in class to everyone in the way that they also pledge to be kind to you. 
 

Mr. xxx

我们当然批评他了，也听他讲了事情的经过，基本上就是他们group drama performance 搞砸了，他和另一娃互相埋怨，他就口不择言，攻击别人。这当然不能成为他这样说的托词，我苦口婆心的讲道理，要尊重人，对事不对人，他似乎也听进去了。我和他都写了回信给老师。

现在的问题是，这娃似乎真的太不成熟了，几乎每年都有这么一两次这样的事件，每次我和他爸都各种道理讲尽，还告诉他具体怎么控制情绪，三思而后行，开合理的玩笑，尊重别人的感受。他每次都听得，至少当时是自我批评加决心改正。可是好像就是不开窍啊。

自问我们普通双职工，一直亲自带娃，满满的爱，behavior 严格要求。爹妈都还是情商可以. 娃也12岁了，不求他八面玲珑，但要有为人处世的common sense吧。学习和体育都挺好，在家很讲道理。朋友家长反映也不错。可就是在学校，就是会时不时冒犯别人，甚至老师。好像在那个环境下就不会作人了。

旁观者清，大家给我指点指点吧，

 

 

所有跟帖： 

• 他和另外一个娃互相埋怨 可能说不过了 就口不择言了 那就教会他如何很占理儿的辩论吧 -happyheart99- ♀ (59 bytes) () 09/30/2016 postreply 00:42:08

• 老师说这是因为对自己没安全感。好像有点责怪家长的意思 -赖少是一只猫- ♀ (0 bytes) () 09/30/2016 postreply 04:59:35

• 我认识一个像你儿子这样的孩子，也是男孩，看见家长的同事说人家很胖，不过从来不在父母面前惹事 -tax2- ♀ (122 bytes) () 09/30/2016 postreply 06:03:10

• 再补充一点，那个孩子是独子，他的爸爸也是独子，虽然父母 -tax2- ♀ (242 bytes) () 09/30/2016 postreply 06:16:57

• 如果真如老师说的是没有安全感，那也许是他在学校没有安全感？有没有问过他在学校和朋友的关系？ -CirrusCloud- ♀ (41 bytes) () 09/30/2016 postreply 07:30:20

• 说句你不爱听的：觉得你家孩子被娇惯了。 -N.- ♀ (719 bytes) () 09/30/2016 postreply 09:11:37