I'd venture to say literaries like 贾平凹 might sometimes appear to be illogical--because they went beyond logic--save it for another day.
You ased a good question: 什么叫“强烈的培养儿女的人”?
To understand this, one needs not logic but simply read into context:
[Quote]
父母生育儿女,生下来养活了,施之于正常的教育就完成了责任,而硬要是河不让流,盛方缸里让成方,装圆盆中让成圆,没有不徒劳的,如果人人都是撒切尔夫人,人人都是艺术家,这个世界将是多么可怕!
接触这样的大人们多了,就会发现愈是这般强烈地要培养儿女的人,愈是这人活得平庸。他自己活得没有自信了,就寄托儿女。这行为应该是自私和残酷,是转嫁灾难。
.......
当我慢慢产生了我的观点后,我不再以我的意志去塑造孩子,只要求她有坚韧不拔的精神,只强调和引导她从小干什么事情都必须有兴趣,譬如踢沙包,你就尽情地去踢,画图画,你就随心所欲地画。我反对要去做什么家,你首先做人,做普通
[End Quote]
Apparently, 贾平凹 didn't mean: 对孩子不闻不问,推到社会中去. There is a huge gap between what he said and what you have interpreted.