First of all, middle class is 25 - 75%. I would think 200,000 income is above top 25%. So that is not a typical middle class family. In US, the median family income is about 50K a year.
Secondly, If you make 200,000 a year, shouldn't you have some savings before your kids is 18 years old?
The top tax rate is about 36% and it is progressive. Which means only certain portion of the 200,000 is subjected to that 36%.
It is clearly you choice if you want to buy a million dollor house and send your kid to public schools. You could very well live in a smaller house and pay those 60K a year tuition.
Also, once your kids finish their schooing, you will have many years of high incomes to enjoy life.
Bottom line. If we ask 100 rich families: would you quit one of the two jobs so your kids could get full FA. My guess is that ZERO will do that. There is your answer.