I never "put a finger" on my wife during those years. However, I did beat up my kids several times, really badly. That was about ten years ago and I still felt bad about my actions.
Hu*****ands natually felt more pressure than wifes, IMHO. However, beating up wifes or kids should never be tolerated.
BTW, when I get home today, I will apologize to my kids about what I did to them before.