I see only one problem

If you teach your daughter the independent American way, why don't you also show her the straight forward way American way of refusing unreasonable demands? I definitely feel there's something abnormal in that your daughter would just do what your friends' daughters tell her to do. You are not raising her to be a maid.

It's good to teach her to be responsible and clean after herself. And it's just as important to make sure that she will not be abused by others.