You are missing the point here

I want my kids to learn that if they want something, they better find a way to get it themself. I worked hard and I deserve everything I got.

I took oversea vacation by myself, every couple years get a name brand car (last one was a Lincoln), play golf every now and then, etc.

We do spend spend money for their piano lessons, tennis, PC, digital camera, field trips, good mountain bikes, and all other basic stuff. As long as they must have anything, we always get it for them.