How do you pick after you have a child? Appreciate if you want t

All the pick and chose are happened before you have your children. That is much more easier. You can start all over again. But, once you have a child, you will become a single mom, and you don't want put your burden on your parents' shoulder because that's your burden. Can you still say 'pick' and 'choose' ?

I'm really appreciate if any one can share.