The boyfriend's self-awareness

 

didn't pass your bar.

Only when one is self-aware, he is able to see what others see.  The boyfriend was unaware of your perspective, it's an indication of his maturity.  Of course, it's a matter of degree.

Your job is to distinguish whether he is unaware, or he is aware but choose to ignore.  If it is the latter, you should question his character.

If it is the former, and your daughter is the "motherly" type, hope he becomes more mature over time, and being a medical student should help with that process.

That he has a kind heart should be the starting point of all your measurement.