Your daughter reminded me of a girl that I know. She

is very aggressive and wild. In a subtle way, her mom told me that she,the mom,had been seriously embarassed many times outside. But the problem girl met a girlfriend who told her in her face that if she continues to behave like this, she will not play with her any more. The problem girl takes it in very seriously.

Nowadays which is several years later, she is more tamed. You can still see those traits in her, but she's mature enough to know right from wrong.

Hope this might help. I totally understand your frustraton. Don't worry too much. She might outgrow it as like the girl I just mentioned.