I might be wrong, but

my observation is that those, Chinese or Americans who are more successful and have a decent life after college are those who are very sociable. I am not trying to say that academic is not important, but to say sociability is more important in one’s life. It really does not matter too much which university kids are graduated from. The good universities may be helpful for one for the first few years after school. After that period of time, it is totally up to his/her skills, capability and sociability unless he/she is doing research and study. Second, we Chinese American parents pay too much attention to academic, which is true. Third, the Chinese American parents ourselves are not active in the social activities like those in community, company, homeowner association and volunteer so that our kids are not active, either. I guess we just need to pay more attention to the sociability education. It is not easy for any parent, not just for Chinese American parents to train kids with great sociability. It requires money, time, energy and smart decision when you have different options, which is very true in America. Of course, we can not pay enough attention to kids’ sociability training if we pay too much attention to their academic because our and our kids’ money, time and energy is limited. We can only make one choice or do one thing with same resource.