The 4 goals of a child's misbehavior ZT

1. attention - he wants undue attention and service. Parents usually respond by feeling annoyed and the need to remind and coax him.

2. power - he wants to be the boss. parents respond by feeling angry and provoked into a power context with him.

3. revenge - he wants to hurt us.

4. display of inadequacy - he wants to be left alone, with no demands made upon him.

WITHDRAWAL IS EFFECTIVE COUNTERACTION. Withdrawl (leaving the child and walking into another room) is most effective when the child demands undue attntion or tires to involve you in a power contest. He gets no satisfaction in annoying if nobody pays attention, nor will his tantrums work without an audience.