Sis, wow!

Great reflections! Sis. I didn't know your birthday (shame on me!) but recently the thought dawned on me that you must have just turned 50. I had wondered how it felt. I had wondered whether that was what you meant when you told me you were going through something at some point last year. But I didn't ask because I felt it might not be a topic you were so keen on and I didn't want to intrude. Also because I knew you would share when you wanted to.

As your younger sister, I dare not say: I can imagine. Don't worry. 60 is the new 40. Those are all cold-hearted cliche because I can't imagine, being worried might be a good thing as it gives you new perspective, and finally, let's be honest, 60 is 60, 50 is 50, playing game on numbers doesn't really make it any better. It would only make me look like a fool that knows nothing about aging (which I probably am. :)) But I do have something to share:

Last month when I had the car accident, when I was holding my son in the rain, watching my car being towed at that intercection, I suddenly remembered what Anna Quindlen said about her moment when her life was cut into: "before" and "after". I thought to myself, is this a moment that will cut my life into "before" and "after"?  As it turned out, no, not really. That accident wasn't so bad and you knew what happened afterwards. But that accident taught me a lot. One of the lessons is to value each moment of my life, to live in the present, because you don't know what the next moment is going to bringing you.

Reading the Hours taught me many things, one of which is that it is OK to be ordinary. You don't have to have a life full of dramatic events, grand themes, fame and fortune to live a full life. Each hour you have might be just the same as someone famous, someone you admire, like Virginia Wolf. Everyone is facing the same challenges in his/her own life and each one of us has our own enemy to defeat , our fears to overcome, our own happiness to obtain, even though we may live in different centuries, in different countries, under very different circumstances. Every hour can change your life. Every moment can be your moment of enlightment and can cut your life into "before" and "after" if you choose to.

Another inspiration came from reading the prologue of P. D. James' autobiography. But kids are up now. Let me continue later today.