看了他最后写的这段，我都快哭了。这要是自家娃，得多心疼啊

General Comments: I am speechless, numb, beside myself. Presumptuous as it sounds, I can't shake the feeling that there has been some mistake. My first rejections were Caltech and MIT but I rationalized to myself that I wanted to do academia, not engineering and I think it showed. The first few were disappointing but I had braced myself; good people get rejected, the officers said, but they always end up getting accepted somewhere just as good, they said. As the rejects piled up however I am questioning my self-worth, everything I have worked for I did it not for college but because I wanted to. I was arrogant - or perhaps gullible - and believed the college officers when they said my "genuine passion" would shine through. I had the mistaken confidence that I fit the college moulds without having to compromise and force myself to do for the resume what I didn't want to do.

Now I am consumed with regret. Is it really this hard? Gosh I knew it was a little harder for Asians but can it be this much harder? I keep futilely replaying scenarios in my head, even the really stupid ones, tormented by the 'what if' - what if I hadn't dropped MUN because I hated it? What if I had pushed a little harder to be Track Captain? What if I had pushed my supervisor to put me on a paper I only did a little for? What if I asked him to show me his rec? Was there one thing I could change about my app to turn everything the other way around?

Yale is my last hope. I almost didn't apply to UArk and /can't/ go there - no disrespect to the school, but it doesn't have the programs or the opportunities for me to pursue my dreams. The people I know there acknowledge as much. Creating this post was like a shot in the dark for me - I've read CC but never posted or even commented. I'm looking for answers, for closure. What did I do wrong? Please?