现在lender都这德性。

I agree w/ ur cousin.  however, instead of bank statment, you and your cousin shoud have provided your refinance lender a LETTER from lender for student loan stating "loan is satisfied".

it is your refinance, not your cousin's.  so your cousin is right. 

这不是自私不自私的问题，关系到隐私权。 这是在米国， 应该不难理解。 

好事多磨。 退一万步，不成的话，接着打猎。 

祝你好运！