匆匆试译

The Mosses

where the sunlight does not reach
Youth comes by itself.
Moss, tiny as a grain of rice,
also blooms like a peony.

 

 

我个人感觉你加入了太多形容词与自己的感觉。原诗简单白话，甚至有点现代。
所以我就尽可能地使用简单词语。