贴一首翻译自己的中文, 梦, 贴到英文诗的网站, 回帖很类似这里的

来源: 2020-12-12 19:18:50 [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读:

 

画廊里

一把躺着的小提琴旁

我在等你

而你的影子很长

你的脸庞落在了琴弦上

你的脚却顶着半掩的门

耳边一个男人在反复地问

你在哪里

我回答

她在等你

 

Dream


In a gallery,
next to a violin lying on the floor,
I'm waiting for you.
Your shadow’s long,
your face casts on the strings,
but your foot levers the door ajar.
A man repeatedly asks by my ears,
where you are?
I answer-
She’s waiting for you.

 Like (4) 

xxx - Visual, Arithmetic. Reminds me of Tom Wait's song ''Alice''. The final interjection, after the painted remembrance, and longing, calls for spirits to linger in hopes of requited affection, and a mutual sharing of their plight. I like it very much. If I had to give any advice...Perhaps I'd only invite you to continue on further this path of exquisite balance between setting and action. Dialogue is a very interesting tool in poetry. I implore you to explore it, and listen to the inner voices of inspiration. Muse or poet.

 

xxx - I love the symbolism you build up in this poem to convey a sense of dream. 

 

xxx - I like your poem.  The flow moves at a good pace.  Good imagery, I can see the shadows and faces. 

Keep on writing.

xxx - Dream! Dream!! Dream!!!

I thoroughly enjoyed your depth. Thank you!a year ago