周末了祝坛友做个好梦 贴个旧的梦

来源: 2021-12-03 15:16:12 [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读:

Dream


In a gallery,
next to a violin lying on the floor,
I'm waiting for you.
Your shadow's long,
your face casts on the strings,
but your foot levers the door ajar.
A man repeatedly asks by my ears-
where you are?
My answer-
She's waiting for you.

 

Aurore O. Boulan - Visual, Arithmetic. Reminds me of Tom Wait's song ''Alice''. The final interjection, after the painted remembrance, and longing, calls for spirits to linger in hopes of requited affection, and a mutual sharing of their plight. I like it very much. If I had to give any advice...Perhaps I'd only invite you to continue on further this path of exquisite balance between setting and action. Dialogue is a very interesting tool in poetry. I implore you to explore it, and listen to the inner voices of inspiration. Muse or poet.

 

Jenny Middleton - I love the symbolism you build up in this poem to convey a sense of dream. 

The Dark Faery - I like your poem.  The flow moves at a good pace.  Good imagery, I can see the shadows and faces. 

Keep on writing.

Femfem - Dream! Dream!! Dream!!!
I thoroughly enjoyed your depth. Thank you!