HELP me to be determined to get divorce!

Give me some support: Should I file divorce?

My hu*****and has violent problem. He hit me three times in our 15 years marrige, last one is three years ago right in front of my parents with no involvement of my parents. At that time I really thought about divorce. After that he never touch-hit me again although we do have arguments and cold wars. Today, he was taking my 11 month old baby and my daughter upstairs and play there. Suddently I heard something falling and then a terrible cry. I found my son falling down from the second floor to the first floor! I hold him up right away feeling want to die. He appears and rush down and hold the baby. I felt so angry and tried to grab his arm and push him. He push me back and I fell down on the floor. My mom was standing there and rush to him to prevent him to not do that and saying "what are you doing? you can not do that to her". He pushed my mom back so hard that my mom fell down on the floor with her leg skin broken!

I grabed his arm and said "you apology right now, otherwise you will have no family" and my mom was so angry and she grab his arm too "what do you want to do? and after I repeat my words several times, he shouted back :I don;t care, let divorce.

My first mistake is I agreed my parents to take care of my daughter four years ago and they took care of her for almost three years (2 in here, one in China). They miss my daughter very much.

My biggest mistake is I asked my parents to come here again to take care of my son after he's six months old. Another big reason is they miss me and my daughter very much and really want to visit me and I miss them too.

However, in the first time, because of the different oppoins about baby care my hu*****and and my mom argued several times. One time my hu*****and broke a notebook and a breakfast table and we are so scared that we have to locked our bedroom door. This time again, my mom takes care of the baby during the day and cook meals everyday, he does not appreciate their helps, never thinking about the good life of WU You WU LIU, Fan LAI ZHANG KOU because of my mom. Several times my mom talked to him so nicely he has no responses, seems she is not existing. I am the worst daughter ever, How could I dare to bring this to my parents! THe only reason is I know my parents miss me and my baby so much that they are willing to accept this rudeness to stay here another six more months, just to being with me and my babies.

He is a very good father, being patient, playing, reading with kids alots and my babies love him. However, he is a cruel man when he is angry, I feel there is no limitation for him, he would do anything, to me, even to my babies. That is why when he was saying he loves me I don't believe. He is so lacking of self-esteem that he blames me for he losses his friends because I never say good things about him when he is angry, although three of his friends he thought he's lossing thought this way is because I asked them to help me when at first time he hit me and threatened me with a knife 2 months after I had my daughter.

I am the stupidest woman for find such a man to be in my life and had two children with him.

Just now after I shout everybody up and he went upstairs for a while and then came down and said sorry to my mom because he lost control facing two of us grabbing him while holding my son. and then he start to blame me again about he is lossing friends all because of me. My mom said I am not involing in your problem. I just think sometimes you also do something wrong too, like you allow your daughter watching so much TV. ( She watches at least 2hours for a four-year old pre day, and buying all the interesting movies). and tthen he explode again and saying "how dare you blame me in my house, look at what you did, I don't think you are a good and hornest person". My mom got angry again and saying "how can you say that, go ask my friends in my neighborhood and my coworkers." He said" I don't think you have real friends even." Finally after my screaming, they both shout up. and then he collect his stuff and wento a hotel. He did this before, after our verbal fight. my daughter really got upset and beg me to talk to him and he said sorry to me and it was over.

Pai Wo Ba, Pai Xing Wo ba.