To 梓萌

梓萌,

I’m sure most of the girls are on your side and most of the time I’m with them. But today I want to be on men’ side. From what you described, you have at least 50% of the responsibility. It came from your words which made me irritated and write all of this, let me quote “再说了,他足不出户,就算想接触异性也没有渠道,就算他迈出门去,就算他想出轨,在美国这地方,也找不着能看上他的主儿”.

Your man is quite a man. He took care of the kids, meals and home. What he did was the least a man could do without access to a mate, thanks to the technology. Well, the least with a mate. Someone here wrote, “Women have moon for the cycle, men have sun.” He, without a mate, could have masturbated but would you be happy about it?

When a person is single, his/her expectation is low and much of the sex desire is mostly suppressed. But he is married and you are his sex partner.

You did not mention that he had you available for sex. All you said was you needed a lot of sleep. You did not mention how you made yourself available to be with him. If you actually did and forgot to mention it, then you can stop here and don’t have to read more.

You mentioned that he never expected that you would be checking him at midnight, which meant that you never cuddled or kissed him at this hour. Was it difficult for you to do?

Yes, men normally initiate sex, but in your case, I bet he had tried to initiate but you most likely refused because you wanted to sleep. I’m not saying you should not sleep. You can make arrangement, sleep early or even have sex at daytime. Not every day, is once a week ok?

His words during cybersex were reasonable to me. Some dirty words even occur between hu*****ands and wives. You don’t expect a man write a poem to you during sex, do you? Women need to be romantic. What does a man need? Man needs to be wild. If you can let him be wild on you, I’m sure he will have no interest in cybersex. After all, it’s not physical.

Normally, men initiate sex. Your case is a little bit different because you are the “provider”. It changes the relationship and you should be aware of it and more active.

I’m sorry that my words are cruel to you. No matter what degree you have, no matter how high your rank is, no matter how much money you earn, you are still his wife, he is still your man. Before it’s too late, pull him back. Tell him he is so innovative that you want to do it with him. Tell him you love him, want to have sex with him, listen to what he wants, watch porn movies with him and let him be wild on you. Of course, keep it safe.

If this is not enough, go counseling.

Lastly, don’t say “网的那边是中国,一屏之隔是中国”. I go across 42nd street everyday but that’s only common sense here. American does not lose to Chinese on this.

Good luck.

所有跟帖： 

• 你还真认真，那是小说吧。 --漫不经心-- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/27/2009 postreply 17:46:03

• 顶！ -风中承诺- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/27/2009 postreply 17:49:03

• 两个人沟通不好，责任应该是50，50 -yonder- ♀ (399 bytes) () 10/27/2009 postreply 17:55:04

• 认同 -风樱飘- ♀ (0 bytes) () 10/27/2009 postreply 18:03:33

• agree:DD -咖啡屋的角落- ♀ (131 bytes) () 10/27/2009 postreply 18:18:10

• 回复：To 梓萌 -梓萌- ♀ (897 bytes) () 10/27/2009 postreply 19:32:21

• 不用谢，也祝你们俩幸福。回见。 -随便一点- ♂ (0 bytes) () 10/27/2009 postreply 19:44:04