夜好象是短的，早晨醒来，看到镜中的自己，眼睛竟然是肿的，记得昨夜是安静地睡下的，难道是梦中在哭？不记得了...
不再记得夜晚的梦了，曾经是夜夜有梦的，清晰的，完整的，有头有尾的梦．如今的夜梦似乎只有纷乱和沉滞的模糊，梦中混乱迷糊着，但醒来是清醒的...
这个春天没有雨，也许都下在心里了．就象一首歌"我来安慰你的忧伤，谁来慰籍我的惆怅"，这个春天是明朗美好的，也是怅然若失的．跟着在美的朋友在春光中唱"learn to be lonely", 随着国内的朋友感慨着"人生之无奈，想世界之苍茫，叹人生之卑微。天地不仁，以万物为刍狗..."．朋友儿时的朋友人到中年突然离世，看到朋友在博客中写到自己听到消息后的"泪崩如雨"，自己也湿了眼圈．最近好象很容易感伤，也许真是春天到了．上下班的路上，步行在春天的晨曦或暮蔼中，想起什么，眼圈自顾自地就红了，挂在耳上的ipod兀自在那不断地唱着，我却一首也没听进去...
另一个朋友发来一个长邮件，说起自己近期走出困惑的内心挣扎历程．朋友也是属于"心气很强，对自我有期许"的一类，归国也有几年，但一直磕磕绊绊不顺，先是生活不顺，后是事业也出问题，去年将近半年的时间，朋友把自己隐身起来，读了大量的关于宗教，心理，哲学，及possitive thinking等书籍，同时也做一些meditations．很高兴地听到他慢慢走了出来．我介绍了自己的一个朋友给他，两个人谈得很好，已经基本敲定了合作细节．能帮成朋友一件事，自己也很高兴，始终记得自己当初在北京尝试为自己做点事的艰难，在最初最难的日子，这位朋友一直是在心理上倾力相助的，是那种很真诚坦诚的支持，大家在创业途中的相互扶持和帮助，仅仅就是为了成就那句"great to have you as a friend"! 虽然都走过弯路，但始终都保有再出发的勇气．
很难想象，生活中如果没有朋友，生命中的梦想是否会远到再也看不见．心情很糟很糟的时候，女友在msn中陪着我，对我说"你是生命的过客，挣扎，孤独，寂寞，心痛甚至SF都是你的过客..."都会过去的，是的，都会过去的...能留下来的，是永远的友情和面对变化的勇气.
周五的晚上，在给每个朋友发那个link, 那个Susan Boyle的, 这个47岁的苏格兰女人用她的声音赢得了世界，她是个从未结过婚，没有体验过亲吻的女人，她参加比赛的愿望之一是能够找到一个伴，能够彼此相爱一起走过下半生．不知怎么，看到这句普通平实的话，比她的歌声更令人动容，我看到了一个女人的真实梦想，我的泪水冲出了眼眶...
I dreamed a dream
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izucgB-lBaI
I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving
Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted
But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they turn your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame
He slept a summer by my side
He filled my dreams with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came
And still I dream he'd come to me
That we would live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather
I had a dream my life would be
So different from the hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed
There was a time, when men were kind
And their voices were soft
And their words were inviting
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time it all went wrong
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