To:踏青

I read all your post, one thing I don't understand, How could you not suspect anything when there is something going on between your LG and your best friend? Calm down and talk to him and find what is problem. Find a marrage consular. Here is some my experience. We might not exactly same situation.

I experienced some hard time like you for past 6 months. My LG and me are living apart for past 3.5 years. Every year, we just had 2 times being together. Each time about 2-3 weeks. Most of time we talk through MSN messenger. Just before we decide to move together, I noticed something changed. very few appear on MSN, and not too much talk anymore. When he came back home for moving, he doesn't want to close with me, away from eye contact, not like before, always try to please me for making love. So I know there is something behind me.And I happen saw a email from a woman in his account, she used quite unusual tone wrote a email to him the next day he came back home.

He never thought on the 2nd day home, I ask him who is the woman between you and me. He was very anger and denied. And said I was trying to make a trouble even there is nothing going on. And start count what I did to him before he think those are really hurted him. His behavior and attitude are totally not as usual. He thought I will never know since I was hundreds and thousands miles away. Wife always is the first one can tell the different after be married over 18 years.

After I saw all the messeages on his cell phone, he admit, there is woman approached to him. He said she know he has wife and child. And that woman also has family in China. But she still shows that she like him. From many talk with my LG, I know, she really did all she can do to please him, flatter him, give sex to satisfy him, called happy and enjoy.

But from woman point of view, I know what she was doing. She came from China not long time ago. Very low pay job. no any degree in china, high school graduate, with some training, ugly looking ( not me said this, my 12 year son said ), 38 years old. every month make about $800. My LG, US PHD, US citizenship, monthly income about $14,000.

Fome my LG point of view, he think a woman are willing to give all herself to him, that really means she love him very much, and she said this to him too. otherwise, she won't do this. That make him feel so touched, and is really appricated the love she gave to him. What a stuipd man !!! But my LG haven't thougt about divorce yet. but really enyoy all attention and love words, be loved feels from her. But when I read other email she wrote, I can tell. at that moment, he was thinking using the thing between legs, not the thing between the ears. And that ugly woman are very excited, she is not pushing him , but leading him for future so called happy life.

Their relationship started 3 months ago before I found out. I ask my LG, you follow your heart, " Is your heart gone with her? if yes, we can divorce." He said "my heart isn't gone, I told her don't think about we both divorce. "and he think she is like himself, just want to have some experience beside marriage. I told him "woman and man are different, you don't know woman". I told him. Woman like her level, age, and looking has no anything to attract any higher level man. If she want to go higher level, sex is her only weapon and it has be covered with "love", it has to be shameless. I ask him why you downgrade youself to this low. She called herself is my LG lover, so my LG think she just willing to be his lover, no push for marrage. But I know it is all about time. lovers are not living in real life together, very few time have conflict. But husand and wife will deal many things in really life, that can easily cause argument. I said to him if she is shameless and want to be your lover, and you want that way too, we divorce. I am not like her with no shame, no integrity. He said he can gradually over this realationship. because he doesn't want her feel hurt and anger since she give so much to him.

We went to marrage consular, the consular told him, you don't want to bond yourself with such a low integrity woman. if you love your wife, love your family, and don't want to divorce, whenever she call or email to you , you need to tell her, don't call me again! don't email me again! You are not hurting her, she is hurting herself.

I know it is hard for him to do exactly what the consular told him to do. He is too soft most of time, and too naive. Even stupid. That is why he is so easily to be captured.

He said he already told her they all need to get back where they were and will not reply her email anymore. That ugly woman haven't call or email for quite a while, no connection any more. But the talk between LG and me are still going on.