其实我知道该怎样做，但需要鼓励。

First of all, Happy New Year to everyone! Hope you all have a happy and successful 2009!

第一次在这里发贴。因为这里很多大哥大姐都是过来人，希望能得到一些帮助和鼓励。

我今年３５，先生４０，有两个可爱的女孩。因为我是娃娃脸，而且个子小，很多人不相信我年过３０并且是两个孩子的妈妈。

我现在的困惑是我很怕自己做出对不起先生的事。我们的结婚１１年了，一直感情很稳定。先生不是个浪漫的人，但诚实认真负责任，对我非常好，这也是我当年决定嫁他的主要原因。我们夫妻生活还算和谐，近二年先生兴趣不如以前。

长话短说吧。我单位有个比我小八岁的 single boy, we share a same office with another married lady. The three of us get along well and go out for lunch every week day. Because the boy is much younger than both of us, we always treat him like a little brother. But about 2 months ago, I can't really tell when and for what particular reason, I found that I'd like to spend alone time with him, although just for chatting, and I could tell that he felt the same way. I found that we both found excuses to stay in office beyond regular hours, just to have more time seeing each other. I was very troubled by my feelings and felt very guilty for sometimes having wild dreams about him, but in reality, we have had good self-control, at least so far. Sometimes, I'm satisfied with what we have at the moment - Just "very good friends who care about each other", but deep in my heart, I know it won't last long, one of us would decide to step forward. And I'm really really worried that it could be ME.

A week ago, he left for a 2 week vacation out of town. The night before he left, we found excuses to have dinner together and walked for a long time on the street (I felt very guilty, even at the moment, for leaving my hubby and two kids at home to be with him). When we parted, he hugged me for a very long time (just a friendly hug, but nontheless, our first hug), and jokingly asked me "how are you gonna survive without me in these two weeks?" And I answered, "how are YOU gonna survive without me?"

After he left, I tried very hard to avoid meeting him online until yesterday, when I missed him too much and finally decided to go online and found him there. We chatted nonstop for 3 hours (just general topics, even work-related topics). At the end, he said he had to go eat now because he was going to eat at the moment we started to chat, but didn't want to leave the computer.

Now he's coming back soon, but I'm not sure how to face him and how to control myself. I think myself, instead of him, is more prone to do harm to my own family. As a matter of fact, I've tried to spend more quality time with my hu*****and and kids, but it doesn't work!!! It's unlikely that either he or I can change office in the foreseeable future.

I'd appreciate any comments/suggestions from 过来人. THANK YOU!