最初版:金灿灿霞明徑幽,柔丝丝轻拂肩头。天色衣,花容秀。淡烟微步不知愁。妹娃儿丫头你莫走,忽闻黄鹂鸣翠柳。
末句出杜甫,很文雅,但还是觉得“吼”更生动。
最初版:金灿灿霞明徑幽,柔丝丝轻拂肩头。天色衣,花容秀。淡烟微步不知愁。妹娃儿丫头你莫走,忽闻黄鹂鸣翠柳。
末句出杜甫,很文雅,但还是觉得“吼”更生动。
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枝上莺鸣催唱吼,仅供参考
-子云亭客-
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04/17/2024 postreply
11:17:34
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谢谢建议!鸟儿催谁唱?
-老梅林-
♂
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04/17/2024 postreply
18:59:33
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