试译 徐志摩 《再别康桥》

（杨老译得真不错！不愧为老资格翻译家。我用我常用的翻译原则试译一下，自己也感觉差些了）

再别康桥

文/ 徐志摩

Goodbye Cambridge Once Again 

By Xu Zhimo

Gently, gently I leave
Like gently gently I came
Gently gently I wave my hand
To bid farewell to the rosy clouds of western sky.

The green willows by the riverside 
Are brides in the shining light at sunset; 
Their glittering pretty reflections on the water waves 
Rippling inside my heart. 

The growing algae above the soft soil
Swing and wave oily on the water bottom;
In the gentle waves of Cambridge 
I am content to be a leaf of water grass! 

That pond under the shade of elm trees 
Not a clear spring but the rainbow from the sky; 
Rubbed to pieces among the floating weeds 
Deposit a rainbow-like dream.

To seek a dream? Just prop a long pole
And wander against the stream to the place where the green grass is greener
Fully load the boat with the brilliance of stars
And in the twinkling of brilliance of stars, aloud I sing

But I cannot sing aloud 
Quietness is the song of farewell
Summer insects for me also in silence  
Silence is Cambridge of tonight! 

Quietly quietly I leave
Like quietly quietly I came
I swing the sleeves of my cloth
Not take away a piece of cloud

轻轻的我走了，
正如我轻轻的来；

我轻轻的招手，

作别西天的云彩。

 

那河畔的金柳，

是夕阳中的新娘；

波光里的艳影，

在我的心头荡漾。

 

软泥上的青荇，

油油的在水底招摇；

在康河的柔波里，

我甘心做一条水草

 

那树荫下的一潭，

不是清泉，是天上虹；

揉碎在浮藻间，

沉淀着彩虹似的梦。

寻梦？撑一支长篙，

向青草更青处漫溯；

满载一船星辉，

在星辉斑斓里放歌。

但我不能放歌，

悄悄是别离的笙箫；

夏虫也为我沉默，

沉默是今晚的康桥！

悄悄的我走了，

正如我悄悄的来；

我挥一挥衣袖，
不带走一片云彩。

翻译时参考过如下译文，鸣谢！

杨宪益、戴乃迭 译

Saying Good-bye to Cambridge Again
Xu Zhimo 
 
Very quietly I take my leave, 
As quietly as I came here; 
Quietly I wave good-bye 
To the rosy clouds in the western sky. 
The golden willows by the riverside 
Are young brides in the setting sun; 
Their reflections on the shimmering waves 
Always linger in the depth of my heart. 
The floating heart growing in the sludge 
Sways leisurely under the water; 
In the gentle waves of Cambridge 
I would be a water plant!

That pool under the shade of elm trees 
Holds not water but the rainbow from the sky; 
Shattered to pieces among the duckweeds 
Is the sediment of a rainbow-like dream.
To seek a dream? Just to pole a boat upstream 
To where the green grass is more verdant; 
Or to have the boat fully loaded with starlight 
And sing aloud in the splendor of starlight.
But I cannot sing aloud 
Quietness is my farewell music; 
Even summer insects keep silence for me: 
Silent is Cambridge tonight! 

Very quietly I take my leave,

As quietly as I came here;

Gently I flick my sleeves ;

Not even a wisp of cloud will I bring away. 
（杨宪益、戴乃迭 译）

所有跟帖： 

• 佩服你。我觉得用tranquility 替代 quietness ，有peaceful的意思，与整首诗的气氛搭配。 -小贝壳weed- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/12/2017 postreply 19:06:59

• 这一个地方可以，但是这有许多地方的悄悄，恐怕不合适 -Yimusanfendi- ♂ (0 bytes) () 08/12/2017 postreply 21:11:22

• 其他的悄悄是形容词 ～～～个见。你对翻译很有热情-～～ -小贝壳weed- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/13/2017 postreply 07:13:10

• 不知一亩兄对杨先生与戴先生译的《红楼梦》怎样看？里面诗词很多。 -小贝壳weed- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/12/2017 postreply 19:11:16

• 还没有认真读过 -Yimusanfendi- ♂ (0 bytes) () 08/12/2017 postreply 21:12:47

• same here -小贝壳weed- ♀ (0 bytes) () 08/13/2017 postreply 05:28:07

• 给一亩个折磨人的建议： -中间小谢- ♂ (110 bytes) () 08/13/2017 postreply 10:56:44

• 太长了，要好长时间。感觉杨宪益不错 -Yimusanfendi- ♂ (0 bytes) () 08/13/2017 postreply 22:33:23

• 漂亮。 -中间小谢- ♂ (92 bytes) () 08/13/2017 postreply 07:41:32

• 欣赏学习。 -相看不厌- ♂ (0 bytes) () 08/13/2017 postreply 14:05:15

• 欣赏。 -琪涵- ♂ (265 bytes) () 08/13/2017 postreply 14:19:08