如楼上两位诗友所言,孤平了。
“故土”的“故”字也出律了,此处当平。“情”出韵,即使按飞雁格,“情”是后鼻音,也无法通韵。“冷”和“饰”必改其一为平声,否则
本帖于 2016-06-01 05:58:09 时间, 由普通用户 阿留 编辑
如楼上两位诗友所言,孤平了。
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