15 卢堂左叛舜 Lu Rebels against Shun

目录 Catalog：15.1 桥峰的武德教育 Bridge-Peak's Martial Virtue Education；15.2 卢堂右复仇 Hall-Right Lu's Revenge；15.2-7 铁律 Iron Law；15.3 汉文化节 Han Culture Festival；15.4 卢堂左叛舜 Hall-left Lu Rebels against Shun；15.5 大禹招安 Big Yu's Amnesty

15.1 桥峰的武德教育 Bridge-Peak's Martial Virtue Education

在去往报名登记处的途中，尘香问身边的人，江南鹤是谁？一位考生告诉他，江南鹤是一位苗族百花谷祖庙的护法，以“铁胆水上漂”， “八步赶禅”，和 “朱砂掌”而著称于世。

On the way to the registration office, Dust-scent asked the people around him, who is the “Crane of the Yangzi River South”? A candidate told him that He is the guardian of the Miao ancestral temple at "Hundred Flowers Valley” and is famous for "Iron Gallbladder Floating on Water", "Eight Steps to Chasing Chan", and "Cinnabar Sand Palm".

尘香又问：“我听说江南有很多谷，这百花谷很出名吗？” 有考生告诉他：“百花谷盛产多种名贵的草药。现在我们国家有30多位将军是苗族人。他们每一位将军选择一味草药的名字来命名他自己的出处。例如有将军来自 ‘绝情谷’，这名字就源于百花谷盛产 ‘断肠草’。又将军来自 ‘情花谷’，名字就源于百花谷盛产 ‘情花’。实际上，江南的将军有三分之一来自 ‘百花谷’。”

Dust-scent asked again: "I heard that there are many valleys south of Yangzi River, is this ‘Hundred Flowers Valley’ very famous?" A candidate told him: "Hundred Flowers Valley is rich in many kinds of precious herbs. Now there are more than 30 generals in our country who are Miao people. Each of them chooses the name of an herb to name his own origin. For example, there is a general from the "Feelingless Valley", and this name comes from the fact that Hundred Flowers Valley is rich in "Heartbroken Grass". Another general comes from the "Love Flower Valley", and that name comes from the fact that Hundred Flowers Valley is rich in "Love Flower". In fact, one third of the generals south of Yangzi River are from the "Hundred Flowers Valley."

在这哥俩登记的时候，桥峰看见卢堂左（即尘香）和卢堂右（尘凡）是两个亲兄弟，就说：“我登记你们俩用一个名额，写两人的名字。这样考官就会注意到你们俩是亲兄弟，会给你俩每人加三分。他们愿意让亲兄弟一起去打仗。这次我们的女娲故乡县参加将军入学考试的口号是：录取的人数比报考的人数多！”

When the two brothers were registering, Dust-scent saw that Hall-Left Lu (i.e. Dust-scent) and Hall-Right Lu (i.e. Dust-mortal) were brothers, so he said, "I will register both of you with one place and write both of your names. This way the examiner will notice that you two are brothers and will give you three extra points each. They are willing to let brothers go to war together. This time, the slogan of our Nuwa hometown county participating in the general entrance examination is ‘more people are admitted than the number of applicants!’"

桥峰听说这俩兄弟来自大虎山地区，就问：“大虎山的龙山地区有两个来自香港的下流作家，名为金庸和古龙，你们俩认识不？”

卢堂左回答：“大虎山地区没多少人，那也是个有四个镇，一百来个村的地区。我没去过龙山镇。怎么，您和他们俩是朋友？”

Upon hearing that the two brothers were from the Dahushan area, Bridge-Peak asked, "There are two lewd writers from Hong Kong in the Longshan area of Dahushan, named Jin Yong and Gu Long. Do you two know them?"

Hall-Left Lu replied, "There aren't many people in the Dahushan area. It's an area with four towns and about a hundred villages. I've never been to Longshan Town. What, are you friends with them?"

桥峰回答：“我没见过这俩小屄崽子，但他们俩污蔑我是丐帮的帮主，还和少林寺那帮没*****儿的秃驴是朋友！我好歹也是个大商朝的县卫，怎么能和他们那些邪门歪道鬼混呢！”

Bridge-Peak replied, "I've never met those two little bastards, but they slandered me as the leader of the Beggars' Sect and said I'm friends with those *****-less bald donkeys from Shaolin Temple! I'm a county lieutenant of the Great Shang Dynasty, how could I associate with those wicked and crooked people!"

尘香惊讶地叨咕：“我没想到咱们法库县有这么多武术世家！？”

桥峰喝了一口他的狗葫芦里的酒，然后回答：“这些考生多数来自别的县市，他们来咱这里报名是为了学习女娲家的武功。”

Dust-scent muttered in surprise: "I didn't expect that there are so many martial arts families in our Faku County!?"

Bridge-Peak took a sip of the wine in his dog-gourd and replied: "Most of these candidates are from other counties and cities. They come here to register to learn the martial arts of the Nuwa family."

当桥峰教卢堂左和卢堂右功夫的时候，他还在教其它的考生 “降龙18掌” 。考生们认为那套女婴创造的功夫有助于他们将来和 “天蓬元帅” 女婴搞好关系。这哥儿俩对 “降龙18掌” 也很感兴趣，但研习的目的是为了找出反制女婴的方法。

When Bridge-Peak was teaching Hall-left Lu and Hall-right Lu martial arts, he was also instructing other candidates in the “Dragon-Subduing Eighteen Palms.” The candidates believed this technique created by Heroine would help them cultivate a favorable relationship with “Sky Ceiling Marshal” Heroine in the future. The two brothers were also quite interested in the “Dragon-Subduing Eighteen Palms”, but their purpose in studying it was to find a way to counter Heroine.

2 武德 Martial Virtues

一天，在演练休息的时间，桥峰赞扬黄龙（即黄帝大禹，如图15.1-6）的御剑术世界第一，可以斩首千里之外的敌人。卢堂右听后笑了，说：“请您跟我们具体说说，黄龙是怎样在千里之外砍下敌人头颅的！？”

One day during a break in the drills, Bridge-Peak praised Yellow Dragon (that is, Yellow Creator Big Yu; see fig.15.1-6) for his sword-riding skills, claiming he is unmatched in the world and capable of beheading enemies a thousand miles away. Upon hearing this, Hall-right Lu laughed and said, “Please tell us in detail how Yellow Dragon managed to cut off an enemy's head from a thousand miles away!”

桥峰回答：“这是在颂扬黄帝的武德。我们武士都是天条（即约柜，上帝）的保护者，尊黄龙大禹为祖师。大禹是金刚护法，是具德，是佛。例如有人要去杀大禹，向路人打听大禹的住处。那位路人刚好是个贼，前些日子在佛堂许愿，结果佛满足了他的愿望。那个贼心想，‘哎呀，我听说对佛许愿必须兑现。我就用你的头颅来偿还我对佛的承诺。’ 那个贼就把去刺杀大禹的刺客杀了，然后砍下他的头，作为感谢大禹的礼物送到大禹的庙里了。”

Bridge-Peak replied, “This is praising the martial virtue of Yellow Creator. We warriors are all protectors of the Sky Clauses (i.e., the Ark of the Covenant, God), and we venerate the Yellow Dragon Big Yu as our ancestor. Big Yu is a philosopher-stone Law Protector, all virtues, and a Buddha. For example, someone wanted to kill Big Yu and asked a passerby for directions to Big Yu's residence. That passerby happened to be a thief who had made a wish at a Buddhist temple a few days ago, and the Buddha granted his wish. The thief thought, ‘Oh, I heard that wishes made to the Buddha must be fulfilled. I will repay my promise to the Buddha with your head.’ So, the thief killed the assassin who went to kill Big Yu, cut off his head, and sent it to Big Yu's temple as a gift to thank Big Yu.”

卢堂右听后，又笑了，说：“你这个例子发生的概率很小！你能不能说个发生概率大的例子。”

桥峰回答：“例如我听说大禹恨一个奸恶之徒，就不惜跋涉八百里，去砍下那个人的头！”

一位考生笑着对桥峰说：“你什么时候出发，我也去！”

After hearing this, Hall-right Lu laughed again and said, "The probability of your example happening is very small! Can you give me an example with a higher probability?"

Bridge-Peak replied, "For example, I heard that Big Yu hated a wicked person so much that I didn't hesitate to travel eight hundred miles to cut off that person's head!"

A candidate smiled and said to Bridge-Peak, "When are you setting off? I'll go too!"

卢堂左举手说：“我也去！”

很多考生要跟桥峰一起去杀那个奸恶之徒。卢堂右说：“我想明白了，我也去！我可是真心的！”

桥峰对卢堂右说：“黄龙指挥着全世界的武器；这在一定程度上是真的。你看他就一个人就在我们大商朝的政治舞台上占据了四分之一势力！”

Hall-left Lu raised his hand and said, "I'll go too!"

Many candidates wanted to go with Bridge-Peak to kill that wicked villain. Hall-right Lu said, "I've thought it through, I'll go too! I'm serious!"

Bridge-Peak said to Hall-right Lu, "Yellow Dragon commands the world's weapons; that's true to some extent. Look at him, he alone occupies a quarter of the political power on our Great Shang Dynasty's stage!"

3 中华武术 Chinese Martial Arts

卢堂左问桥峰：“你为什么说少林寺是邪教？少林武功是邪术？”

乔峰回答：“一次女婴宴请顺皇和禹皇，我有幸参加了他们的聚会。谈话间，我们请求禹皇表演金刚杵和屠龙刀。禹皇表演了。他的动作很滑稽，和戏剧舞台上表演的一样！我和江南鹤都看呆了，大禹的肢体运动不协调（如图4，5），不适合学习武术！后来大禹给我们解释。佛门武功是密宗，因应佛肢体运动上的缺陷，舍弃了防卫，专注于杀死对手。练习佛门武术的人都活不长。”

Hall-left Lu asked Bridge-Peak, "Why do you say that Shaolin Temple is a cult? Shaolin martial arts are evil arts?"

Bridge-Peak replied, "Once, Heroine hosted a banquet for White-king Shun and White-king Yu, and I was fortunate enough to attend their gathering. During the conversation, we asked White-king Yu to demonstrate his philosopher-stone Pestle and Dragon-Slaying Saber. White-king Yu performed them. His movements were comical, just like those performed on a theatrical stage! River South Crane and I were stunned. Big Yu's physical movements were uncoordinated (as shown in Figures 4 and 5), unsuitable for learning martial arts! Later, Big Yu explained to us that Buddhist martial arts are Tantric, which, in response to the deficiencies in the Buddha's physical movements, abandons defense and focuses on killing the opponent. People who practice Buddhist martial arts don't live long."

乔峰继续说：“禹皇委托我对金刚杵和屠龙刀的武术进行修改后传于世人。我认同江南鹤和国防部的观点，你们刚来这里时表演的108式跤术是中华武术的核心。我结合江南鹤，女婴等十几位武术大师的意见，对金刚杵和屠龙刀法进行了修改，得到了国防部的认可。我教给你们俩的都是国防部认可的武术，都是正常的，健康的武术。少林寺教授的佛是理性的，假的，违背了佛本生的原则（参见13.8 《佛本生》），所以他们是邪教。少林寺的武术危害健康，都不是国防部认可的，所以说那些武术是邪术。”

Bridge-Peak continued, “White-king Yu entrusted me to modify the philosopher-stone Pestle and Dragon-Slaying Saber techniques before passing them down to the world. I agree with River South Crane and the Ministry of National Defense's view that the 108-style wrestling you performed when you first arrived is the core of Chinese martial arts. I combined the opinions of River South Crane, Heroine, and more than a dozen other martial arts master's to modify the philosopher-stone Pestle and Dragon-Slaying Saber techniques, which were approved by the Ministry of National Defense. What I taught you both are martial arts recognized by the Ministry of National Defense; they are normal and healthy martial arts. The Buddhism taught at Shaolin Temple is theoretical, false, and violates the principle of Buddha was Originally a Living Person (see section 13.8), therefore they are a cult. The martial arts of Shaolin Temple are harmful to health and are not recognized by the Ministry of National Defense, therefore those martial arts are evil arts.”

4

这时，大虎山乡已经来了很多人了。卢堂左（尘香）和卢堂右（尘凡）开始转移财产，把钱存放到了大虎山乡的金库里，并且询问秀才和跤手的来历细节。

By this time, a lot of people had come to Dahushan (Big-Tiger Mountain) Township. Dust-scent and Dust-mortal began to transfer their property, depositing the money in the vault of Big-Tiger Mountain Township, and questioned Scholar and Wrestler about the details of their origins.

秀才和跤手看出了卢堂左的疑惑，说：“我们俩也曾怀疑，怎么来卢家屯的人的素质都高？就研究了一下，我俩发现来的人讲的故事都有些类似。原因是，我们来这里就直接得到了房子和地。若这房子和地随意地给出去，那大虎山乡就成为丐帮的大本营了。所以政府在开放这里的两年前，就秘密地放出了这个地区白给房子和地的消息，而且每个县是有名额限制的，只能选送有用的人才。然后，他们秘密地观察着迁移来的人口，赶走低素质的人，只留下高素质的人。这样，大虎山才能发展成为一个能为国家做贡献的地区。”

Scholar and Wrestler saw Hall-Left Lu's doubt and said, "We both also wondered how come the quality of the people who came to Lu Family Village are high? Just after researching a bit, we both realized that the stories told by the people who came were somewhat similar. The reason is that we got the house and land directly by coming here. If this house and land were given out freely, then Big-Tiger Mountain Township would be the home base of the Beggar Gang. So, two years before the government opened this place, they secretly released the news that this area is given houses and land for free, and that there is a quota limit for each county, so that only useful people can be selected. Then, they secretly watched the migrating population, driving out the low-quality people and leaving only the high-quality ones. In this way, Big-Tiger Mountain can develop into a region that can contribute to the country."

 

15.2 卢堂右复仇 Hall-Right Lu's Revenge

目录 Catalog：15.2-1 兄弟俩毕业了The Two Brothers Graduated；15.2-2 如何复仇 How to Take Revenge；15.2-3 争夺金刚杵 Contending for Philosopher-stone Pestle；15.2-4 寻找金童和玉女 Searching for Gold Boy and Jade Girl；15.2-5 阉割郑伦和陈奇 Castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange；15.2-6 铁律 Iron Law

15.2-1 兄弟俩毕业了The Two Brothers Graduated

这天卢堂左（又名尘香）和卢堂右（又名尘凡）两兄弟完成了桥峰对他们俩去参加武官考试的准备训练，高兴地向家里走。桥峰还把屠龙刀的刀样子奖励给了卢堂右。卢堂左警惕地嘱咐弟弟说：“这把刀是铁的，不能开刃，一磨就坏了！”

卢堂右回答：“我知道！我信守对你的承诺，在22岁之前不磨刀，不杀人！所以，我不能和你一起去参加将军入学考试！我自己留在这里，等候你的好消息！”

That day, the brothers Hall-left Lu (aka. Dust-scent) and Hall-right Lu (aka. Dust-mortal) finished the training Bridge-Peak had given them for the military officer examination and happily headed home. Bridge-Peak even rewarded Hall-right Lu with a sample of the Dragon-Slaying Saber. Hall-left Lu cautiously instructed his younger brother, "This saber is made of iron; it cannot be sharpened. Sharpening it will ruin it!"

Hall-right Lu replied, "I know! I will keep my promise to you and will not sharpen my knife or kill anyone before I turn 22! Therefore, I cannot go with you to take the general's entrance exam! I will stay here and wait for your good news!"

卢堂左反驳道：“我自己去参加将军入学考试就考不上了！你和我一起去，咱俩是兄弟，他们喜欢送亲兄弟一起上战场，所以给咱俩各加三分。没有那三分，我考不上；咱俩的水平比那些武术世家的考生差多了。另外，没有你，我不能实施叛乱来营救大禹叔叔。我自己打不过女婴阿姨；我一叛乱，就被她给抓起来了。”

Hall-left Lu retorted, "I wouldn't pass the general's entrance exam on my own! You come with me; we're brothers, and they like to send brothers to the battlefield together, so they give us each three extra points. Without those three points, I won't pass; our skills are far inferior to those candidates from martial arts families. Besides, without you, I can't carry out the rebellion to rescue Uncle Big Yu. I can't beat Aunt Heroine on my own; if I rebelled, she would arrest me."

卢堂右回答：“那你见着她就逃，然后想办法射伤她。”

卢堂左说：“我想过多次了。女婴阿姨是咱舅爷二郎神和咱舅姥姥尧皇花费了三十几年培养出来的天蓬元帅。我们不能伤害她。她受伤了，中华共和国的天蓬就塌了，会引起数千万人流离失所，数百万人死于战争。”

Hall-right Lu replied, “Then you run away when you see her, and find a way to wound her.”

Hall-left Lu said, “I've thought about it many times. Auntie Heroine is the Sky Ceiling Marshal, cultivated over thirty years by our maternal grandpa Second Wolf God and our maternal grandma White-king Yao. We cannot harm her. If she is injured, the sky of the Republic of China will collapse, causing tens of millions to be displaced and millions more to die in war.”

2 如何复仇 How to Take Revenge

卢堂右问：“你想怎样为咱爹报仇？”

卢堂左回答：“我想这事很多次了。首先说，我们不能杀她。我已经跟你说过了，咱爹牛郎一辈子只做过三件值得骄傲的事。第一件事就是娶小龙女（即舜王，嫘祖）为妻。他是咱爹最心爱的女人。第二，她是咱大商朝的黄帝，刺杀她会引起社会的动乱。第三，他是咱大禹叔叔的妻子；咱俩杀她对不起大禹叔叔。”

Hall-right Lu asked, “How do you plan to avenge our father?”

Hall-left Lu replied, "I've thought about these many times. First, we cannot kill her. I've already told you—our father, Cowboy, accomplished only three truly proud deeds in his lifetime. The first was marrying the Little Dragoness (i.e., King Shun, Lei Ancestor). She was the woman he cherished most. Second, she is White-king Creator (Emperor) of our great Shang Dynasty. Assassinating her would spark social upheaval. Third, she is the wife of our Uncle Big Yu. Killing her would betray Uncle Yu."

卢堂右叨咕：“这么说我们就不杀她了。那我们得让她难受一下，先杀两个汉猪！”

卢堂左说：“我现在想出的报仇的方法是：把她绑架到一个地方，让她跪在咱爹的灵牌前给咱爹道歉半个月。”

卢堂右叨咕：“怎么就半个月呢？怎么也得三个月啊！？”

Hall-right Lu muttered, “So we won't kill her after all. But we'll make her suffer—start by slaughtering a couple of Han pigs!”

Hall-left Lu said, “My plan for revenge is this: kidnap her to some place, make her kneel before our father's spirit tablet, and apologize to him for half a month.”

Hall-right Lu grumbled, “Why only half a month? It should be at least three months!”

卢堂左回答：“她是皇帝，国不可一日无君，半个月可能已经是极限了！”

兄弟俩商量了很长的时间，卢堂右决定如果卢堂左杀两个汉猪（即汉神，土地老），他就跟随卢堂左进京赶考。卢堂左同意了。

Hall-left Lu replied, “She's the emperor. The country can't go a single day without a ruler. Half a month might already be the absolute limit!”

The brothers deliberated for a long time. Hall-right Lu decided that if Hall-left Lu could slay two Han pigs (referring to the Han Gods, the Local Gods), he would accompany Hall-left Lu to the capital to take the imperial examinations. Hall-left Lu agreed.

15.2-3 争夺金刚杵 Contending for the Philosopher-stone Pestle

两兄弟来到郑伦和陈奇（如图15.2-3）守护的汉窑旁边，寻找了个交通方便又僻静的作案地点，把屠龙刀藏好了。卢堂左嘱咐弟弟说：“先说好了，由我来杀，你看着！你不能动手！我有十几次的作战经验，你没有！”

卢堂右回答：“好！我只是看着，若不是我看见你有危险，我不出手！你哪来的作战经验？”

The two brothers arrived near the Han kiln guarded by Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange (see fig. 15.2-3). They found a secluded spot with convenient access and hid the Dragon-Slaying Saber. Hall-left Lu instructed his brother, "Let's make this clear first: I'll do the killing. You watch! You can't lift a finger! I have over ten combat experiences, you don't!"

Hall-right Lu replied, "Fine! I'll just watch. If I don't see you in danger, I won't make a move! Where would you get your combat experience?"

卢堂左回答：“以前我常跟随林冲和路引执行治安任务。我还去大虎山帮秀才和跤手修理丐帮和少林寺的秃驴两次了。”

卢堂右问：“秀才和跤手负责向外发钱，怎么还和别人起冲突了呢？”

卢堂左回答：“发钱是为了帮助对社会有用的人尽快在大虎山地区安顿下来。他俩不给乞丐，少林秃驴，和那些奸懒谗猾的人钱，那些社会的渣滓就有意见了，闹事！”

Hall-left Lu replied, "I used to often accompany Before-charging and Path-leader on security missions. I even went to Dahushan (Big-tiger Mountain) twice to help Scholar and Wrestler deal with the beggars and the bald donkeys from Shaolin Temple."

Hall-Right Lu asked, "Scholar and Wrestler were in charge of distributing money, so how did they get into a conflict with others?"

Hall-left Lu replied, "Distributing money was to help those useful to society settle down in the Dahushan area as quickly as possible. If they didn't give money to the beggars, Shaolin Bald Donkeys, and those lazy, cunning people, those social scum would complain and cause trouble!"

郑伦和陈奇听说尘香（卢堂左）和尘凡（卢堂右）来参观他们的汉窑了，迎接出来了。进到礼堂后，尘香和尘凡注意到了主座后面的墙上供着女娲家的 “彤弓素矢（如图15.2-1，2；注1）” 和 “金刚降魔杵（如图3；注2）”。尘香问：“那弓箭和棍子很好看，能用吗？”

注1，“彤弓素矢” 是集谛（参见第13章）的异名。集起是佛智，佛教哲学的代表。

注2，金刚杵是法四分（参见10.1节）的象征，是佛学理论的轴。

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, hearing that Dust-scent (Hall-left Lu) and Dust-mortal (Hall-right Lu) had come to visit their Han Kiln, came out to greet them. Upon entering the hall, Dust-scent and Dust-mortal noticed the "Red Bow and Natural Arrow (Figures 15.2-1, 2)" and the "Philosopher-stone Pestle (Figure 3)" of Nuwa's family commonwealth-ed on the wall behind the main seat. Dust-scent asked, "Those bow and arrow and the staff are very beautiful; can they be used?"

Note 1: “Red Bow and Natural Arrow” is an alternative name for Aggregate Crux (see chapter 13), represents Buddha’s Intelligence, embodying Buddhist philosophy.

Note 2: Philosopher-stone Pestle is a symbol of the Juristic Quadrants (see Section 10.1), serving as the axis of Buddhist doctrine.

郑伦和陈奇立刻回答：“能用，这是顺皇命令人打造的，送给我们俩的，所以我们俩把这两件武器作为圣物供了起来！” 郑伦说着，登上凳子，取下了那两件武器。尘凡接过了弓箭，就开始练习射。

陈奇拿着金刚降魔杵，一边指给卢堂右看一边说：“这棍尖是金刚做的，可以戳穿盔甲。这棍子的大头是个锤子。你妈舍不得往里面灌金子，所以这个锤心是银子做的，外面包着的是金刚。”

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange immediately replied, "They work! Emperor Shun ordered them to be made and gave them to us, so we've commonwealth-ed these two weapons as sacred objects!" Correct-ethic said, climbing onto a stool and taking down the two weapons. Dust-mortal took the bow and arrow and began practicing shooting.

Exhibit-strange, holding the Philosopher-stone Pestle, pointed to it and said to Dust-scent, "The tip of this staff is made of Philosopher-stone; it can pierce armor. The large end of the staff is a hammer. Your mother couldn't bear to fill it with gold, so the hammer core is made of silver, and the outside is covered with Philosopher-stone."

尘香接过了金刚降魔杵，说：“原来这棍子的大头可当锤子用！我才明白第十三式 ‘金刚卸甲’是什么意思。”说着，他对陈奇比划着，“这招是这样敲击金刚武士的盔甲的！”

陈奇看出尘香和尘凡喜欢这两件武器，想要，就说：“你妈定做金刚降魔杵的时候，她就做了三根。一根她自己用，一根送给我了。还有一根仍然在她的房间里放着呢，舍不得给大禹。我们俩可以帮你把那只金刚杵要来。”

Dust-scent took the Philosopher-stone Pestle and said, "So the big end of this staff can be used as a hammer! Now I understand what the thirteenth move, 'Philosopher-stone Armor Removal,' means." He then gestured to Exhibit-strange, "This is how you strike the armor of a philosopher-stone warrior!"

Exhibit-strange noticed that Dust-scent and Dust-mortal liked the two weapons and wanted them, so he said, "When your mother ordered the Philosopher-stone Pestle, she made three. She used one herself, gave one to me, and the third one is still in her room; she can't bear to give it to Big Yu. We can help you get that Philosopher-stone Pestle."

尘香听后，不高兴了；他用力地把金刚杵的尖头戳进桌面，把金刚杵立在了桌子上。郑伦和陈奇还没明白这哥俩是干什么来了，要过来劝说：“金刚杵只是说法，它或许没那么结实！”

Upon hearing this, Dust-scent became displeased; he forcefully jabbed the tip of the Philosopher-stone Pestle into the table, making it stand upright. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, still confused about what the two brothers were up to, tried to intervene, saying, "The Philosopher-stone Pestle is just a symbol; it might not be that sturdy!"

尘香过去把正在靠近的郑伦和陈奇摔到了墙边，并顺手抽出了他们的佩剑，扔到了桌子的下面。这时，门外的卫兵听见了打斗，跑了进来。郑伦和陈奇从地上爬起来后，发现尘凡的弓箭正对着他们俩，慌忙地举起手，做出了投降的姿势，并命令卫兵放下武器，不许伤害尘香和尘凡。

Dust-scent slammed Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, who were approaching, against the wall, and casually drew their swords, throwing them under the table. At that moment, the guards outside, hearing the fighting, rushed in. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange got up and found Dust-mortal's bow and arrows pointed at them. They hurriedly raised their hands in surrender and ordered the guards to drop their weapons and not harm Dust-scent and Dust-mortal.

尘凡惊讶地对尘香说：“我真不知道大哥你这么厉害！我没他们俩的力气大，打不过他们俩！”

尘香说：“那你射掉郑伦的盔缨，表示你打败他了。”

Dust-mortal said to Dust-scent in surprise, "I really didn't know you were so powerful, brother! I'm not as strong as the two of them, I can't beat them!"

Dust-scent said, "Then shoot off Correct-ethic's helmet plume to show that you defeated him."

郑伦和陈奇还在表示反对，尘凡已经射断了郑伦的盔缨。陈奇见状，慌忙地摘下了头盔。沉香对尘凡说：“那你射陈奇拿着头盔手的袖扣！”

据说陈奇听后，被吓得尿裤子了。尘凡果然射中了陈奇的袖扣。

郑伦和陈奇都表示：“把彤弓素矢和金刚杵送给你们俩！”

While Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were still protesting, Dust-scent had already shot off Correct-ethic's helmet plume. Seeing this, Exhibit-strange hurriedly removed his helmet. Dust-scent said to Dust-mortal, "Then shoot Exhibit-strange in the cufflink of the hand holding the helmet!"

It is said that Exhibit-strange was so frightened by this that he wet his pants. Dust-scent indeed hit Exhibit-strange's cufflink.

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange both declared: “We will give the ‘red bow and natural arrows’, and the ‘Philosopher-stone Pestle’ to you!”

 

15.2-7 铁律 Iron Law

目录 Catalog：15.2-4 寻找金童和玉女 Searching for Gold Boy and Jade Girl；15.2-5 阉割郑伦和陈奇 Castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange；15.2-6 女婴向舜王汇报 Heroine Reported to King Shun；15.2-7 铁律 Iron Law

15.2-4 寻找金童和玉女 Searching for Gold Boy and Jade Girl

尘香要求看看金童和玉女。郑伦和陈奇回答没见过。尘香生气了，要求他们俩靠墙站着，让尘凡用箭射他们俩的袖扣。郑伦和陈奇完全屈服了，承诺：一切听从尘香和尘凡的指挥！

Dust-scent demanded to see Gold Boy and Jade Girl. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied that they had never seen them. Dust-scent became angry and ordered them to stand against the wall so Dust-mortal could shoot their cufflinks with arrows. Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange completely submitted, promising to obey Dust-scent and Dust-mortal's commands in everything!

沉香对郑伦和陈奇说：“你们俩负责管理这座汉窑，为我外公玉皇大帝制造汉神，辅佐他来统治这个世界。你们学习上帝的知识（如图35至38，参见9.9节），怎么能没有金童和玉女的模特儿。这么办吧！我帮你们挑选出金童和玉女！”

Dust-scent said to Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, “You two are responsible for managing this Han kiln and creating Hans (i.e., Gods) for my grandfather, Turquoise White-king Great Creator, to assist him in ruling this world. You are studying the knowledge of God (Figures 35 to 38, see section 9.9), how can you do without models for Gold Boy and Jade Girl? Let’s do this! I will help you choose the Gold Boy and Jade Girl!”

郑伦和陈奇同意了。

尘香从他们的学习材料里找出了辨别金童和玉女的考题，挑选出了一些汉来考试。随后，尘香让郑伦和陈奇也参加了考试。

尘香看了看答卷，说：“郑伦和陈奇是金童和玉女类型的人！你们俩跟我们走一趟吧！别人不准跟着，全部进入会议室！”除了郑伦和陈奇，尘香和尘凡把其他的所有人都锁在了会议室里了。

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange agreed.

Dust-scent found the test questions for identifying Gold Boy and Jade Girl from their study materials and selected some questions to test. Then, Dust-scent had Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange take the test as well.

Dust-scent glanced at the answer sheet and said, “Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange are the golden boy and jade girl types! You two come with us! No one else is allowed to follow—everyone else, into the conference room!” Except for Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, Dust-scent and Dust-mortal locked everyone else inside the conference room.

15.2-4 阉割郑伦和陈奇 Castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange

尘香把郑伦和陈奇绑架到了已经选好了的作案地点，对尘凡说：“我把他们俩阉了来给大禹叔叔报仇，你觉得怎么样？”

尘凡同意了。

尘香对尘凡商量说：“我去村里找个劁猪的来给他们俩做手术。你看守着他们俩，可别自己动手！”

Dust-scent kidnapped Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange to the pre-selected crime scene and said to Dust-mortal, "I'm going to castrate them to avenge Uncle Big Yu. What do you think?"

Duts-mortal agreed.

Dust-scent then consulted with Duts-mortal, saying, "I'll go to the village and find a pig castrator to perform the surgery on them. You stay and watch over them, but don't do it yourself!"

当尘香带着劁猪匠回来时，郑伦和陈奇已经骗尘凡为他俩解开了绳子。尘香再次绑好了他们俩，然后示意劁猪匠去阉割他们。劁猪匠过去一看，那是两个人，拒绝劁人。

尘凡拿着那把屠龙刀对劁猪匠说：“嗨！你的刀和我的刀的形状一样，但我的刀大。你若不用你的那把小刀劁他们俩，我就用这把大刀劁你！”

When Dust-scent returned with the castrator, Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange had already tricked Dust-mortal into untying them. Dust-scent retied them and then gestured for the castrator to castrate them. The castrator went over and saw two people, refusing to be castrated.

Dust-mortal, holding the Dragon-Slaying Knife, said to the castrator, "Hey! Your knife and mine are the same shape, but mine is bigger. If you don't use your small knife to castrate them, I'll use this big knife on you!"

劁猪匠仔细一看，他的劁猪刀和尘凡的屠龙刀确实是一个样式，回答：“我这是最新的劁猪刀样式！你那把屠龙刀怎么那么大？”

劁猪匠别无选择，回去就把郑伦和陈奇劁了，拿着银子就跑了。

当尘香为郑伦和陈奇解开绳子后，这俩人站起来就跑了。

The castrator looked closely and realized his castration knife and Dust-mortal's Dragon-Slaying Knife were indeed the same style. He replied, "Mine is the latest style of castration knife! Why is your Dragon-Slaying Knife so big?"

The pig castrator had no choice but to go back and castrate Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, then ran away with the money.

After Dust-scent untied Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, the two men jumped up and ran off.

15.2-6 女婴向舜王汇报 Heroine Reported to King Shun

女婴很快就收到了汉窑被打劫的消息。据说女婴害怕了，她请娥黄陪她一起去向舜王（即顺皇）汇报。娥黄也很害怕，这俩人像是犯了错误似的，低头站在舜王的面前。

舜王问：“什么东西被抢了？”

女婴回答：“除了郑伦和陈奇被阉了，没有别的财产损失。”

Heroine soon received news of the looting of the Han kiln. It is said that Heroine was frightened and asked Beauty Yellow to accompany her to report to King Shun (Emperor Shun). Beauty Yellow was also very frightened; the two of them stood before King Shun with their heads bowed, as if they had committed a crime.

King Shun asked, "What was stolen?"

Heroine replied, "Besides Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange being castrated, there was no other property loss."

舜王问：“谁干的？”

女婴回答：“不知道！那俩人给了那个劁猪匠一个银元宝。随后，那个银元宝被强盗抢走了，没留下任何证据。”

King Shun asked, "Who did it?" Heroine replied, "I don't know! Those two men gave the pig castrator a silver ingot. Then, the silver ingot was stolen by robbers, leaving no evidence."

舜王很长时间没说话。

女婴和娥黄问：“您看这事，应该怎么处理？”

舜王回答：“我儿子已经为我处理完了，还处理什么？”

King Shun remained silent for a long time.

Heroine and Beauty Yellow asked, "What do you think should be processed about this?"

King Shun replied, "My son has processed for me. What else is there to process of?"

女婴和娥黄转身向外走。舜王忽然说：“等等，你们俩可别说这话是我说的！”

女婴和娥黄异口同声地回答：“我们不傻！”

女婴问：“是现在就把郑伦和陈奇给您送来，还是训练一段时间后再给您送来？”

舜王回答：“先送过来，我看看！”

Heroine and Beauty Yellow turned to leave. King Shun suddenly said, "Wait, you two, don't say I said that!"

Heroine and Beauty Yellow replied in unison, "We're not stupid!"

Heroine asked, "Should we send Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange to you now, or after they've been trained for a while?"

King Shun replied, "Send them over first, let me see!"

15.2-7 铁律 Iron Law

郑伦和陈奇被送到了舜王的接待室。舜王问：“谁干的？”

郑伦和陈奇回答：“是尘香！”

舜王回答：“嗯！？是我儿子干的！？”

郑伦和陈奇立刻否认道：“不是！不是！”

舜王不高兴了，离开了。

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were taken to King Shun's reception room. King Shun asked, "Who did it?"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied, "It was Dust-scent!"

King Shun replied, "Hmm!? My son did it!?"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange immediately denied it, "No! No!"

King Shun was displeased and left.

周围的护卫们给郑伦和陈奇出主意：“你得说是尘香干的！尘香是舜王的儿子。如果舜王问你，‘怎么办？’ 你回答，‘戴罪立功！’”

郑伦和陈奇同意这么说了。护卫们进去提醒舜王：郑伦和陈奇还在外面跪着呢！

The guards around Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange offered them advice: "You have to say it was Dust-scent who did it! Dust-scent is King Shun's son. If King Shun asks you, 'What should we do?' you answer, 'We'll atone for our crimes through meritorious service!'"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange agreed. The guards went inside to remind King Shun that Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange are still kneeling outside!

舜王出来了，看见郑伦和陈奇后又问：“谁干的？”

郑伦和陈奇回答：“是你儿子，尘香干的。”

舜王想了想，回答：“你们俩想让我怎么处理？”

郑伦和陈奇回答：“我们愿意戴罪立功！”

King Shun emerged and, seeing Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange, asked, "Who did it?"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied, "It was your son, Dust-scent."

King Shun thought for a moment and asked, "What do you two want me to do?"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange replied, "We are willing to atone for our crimes through meritorious service!"

舜王对护卫说：“带他们俩下去吧！让他们俩再想想！”

郑伦和陈奇被关押进了死牢。

这是怎么回事？前文说了，女娲造人出错了，因为郑伦和陈奇是同性恋，社会的败类。现在，他们俩肯定不会再搞同性恋了，所以女娲（即舜王）造人继续。造人的过程中，都有吓唬金童的事件（参见第14章的六个上帝造人的事例）。受惊吓与精神病相关，这在精神病学里被誉为铁律。

King Shun said to his guards, "Take them both away! Let them think it over again!"

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were imprisoned in a death row cell.

What's going on here? As mentioned earlier, Nüwa's creation of humans went awry because Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were homosexuals—scourges of society. Now that they're no longer engaging in homosexuality, Nüwa (i.e., King Shun) continues her creation. Throughout the creation process, incidents of frightening the gold boy occurred (see Chapter 14's account of the Six Gods creating humanity). Such fright is linked to mental illness—a principle regarded as an iron law in psychiatry.

郑伦和陈奇被关进了死牢，就将被处死了，当然很害怕。他们俩犯了什么罪？他们是守窑的将军，他们的薪水是普通将军薪水的三倍，说法上是守窑的将军不能战败！因为守窑的将军战败了，那汉窑的200至300位汉神就被冻死了。现在他们俩战败了，为国家造成了巨大的损失。

Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were locked in death row, awaiting execution, and were naturally terrified. What crime had they committed? They were generals guarding the kiln, receiving salaries three times that of ordinary generals. By decree, generals guarding the kiln could not be defeated! For if the kiln-guarding generals were defeated, the 200 to 300 Han Gods within the Han Kiln would freeze to death. Now that they had suffered defeat, they had inflicted immense loss upon the nation.

那么，那些舜王的护卫给他们俩出主意，让他们俩戴罪立功是什么意思？意思是你们俩输给了舜王的儿子，龙的儿子，还可以接受。你们俩回去继续守窑，别让那200至300位汉神冻死了，就立功了。

几天后，郑伦和陈奇被女婴接了出去，送她们俩去和将军一起训练了。

So, what did the guards of King Shun mean when they suggested the two of them atone for their mistakes by performing meritorious deeds? It meant that since you two lost to the son of King Shun, the son of the Dragon, it was still acceptable. Go back and continue guarding the kiln—just make sure those 200 to 300 Han Gods don't freeze to death, and you'll have done your duty.

A few days later, Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange were taken away by Heroine and sent to train alongside the generals.

返回《三皇五帝》的目录 Return Catalog of Chinese Codex

 

 

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• 7.2 女娲秘史
• 14.13 理想的性交次数 Ideal Number of Sexual Intercourses
• 7 鄮县县长
• 14.12 郑伦和陈奇 Correct-ethic and Exhibit-strange
• 14.9 更改行宫设计 Changing the Design of Migration Palace