I would like to thank my dear child, for the first thing, to tell you all.
I hoped to be a Mom since I was 13. I waited for a total of twenty years, till my child came, and made my dream come true.
I remember dearly, how he kicked me in my belly, with such a cheerful spirit. How his Dad whispered to him at that moment, that how much we would love him when he came out of my belly button.
Finally he arrived, on a beautiful day 9.5 years ago. I remember dearly, how excited we all were.
I remember the first time I heard him cry, the first time I held him in my arms, and the first time he called me Mom. How sweet his voice was…I remember those moments, such sweet moments.
When he was about 1, when his Grandpa and Grandma took him outside for a walk, in his little stroller, he would not let his Grandpa move it, if they missed the turn towards our blue house. I remember how amazed we felt at that moment.
I remember he was anxious when his little brother joined our family two years later. I remember he was brought to see me and his brother in the hospital, the way how he reacted. He might be shy, or might be afraid of that change. I still feel sorry that I did not do a good job, helping him to be prepared.
I remember he squat to be close to his little brother's cradle, and cried with joy, "Mom, look, he can move! He is alive!" How cute he was, at that moment.
I remember I was having my lunch and pumping breast milk for his little brother, and he asked me with surprise, "Mom, what you ate becomes milk, right?" How clever he was, that little boy. I remember all these little sweet moments.
Time flies and he went to attend daycare at 3. That was the first step he left our house, left us behind, and became a part of the outside world. It was a small step for him, but a big step for me, I remember.
Like every new Mom, I was the one who turned anxious at that time. I did not know if he would be able to tolerate it, to tolerate the time when he was away from me. He did it so well. He made a lot of new friends.
He took his friends to our house for a play date, and apologized to them that, we had only Chinese foods at home, and he was not sure if his friends would mind. I felt a little sorry for him, that he thought he was different. He was only 4, or 5. A person's memory could fade with age, as you all know.
However, I won't forget all those moments, little sweet moments.
I remember he noticed the ring on my 4th finger, and asked me what it was. I replied that it was my wedding ring. I remember the surprise on his little face, and he asked me with amaze, "You are married? To whom?" I could not help laughing, "To your Dad, silly boy". He was even more surprised, "But my teacher said, family members cannot get married to each other!" Such a good laughing I had, at that unforgettable moment.
I remember my job became so busy, and I lost my temper easily when he was in his "bad" days. I feel sorry for those moments, when I tried to send him to the bathroom for a so-called "time out". How I hope I never learned such skills, from some silly books that I shouldn't have read.
Time just flies, as I mentioned above, my little boy became a kindergarten student. I remember the picture I took for him on that day. He was a big boy then, leaving us for the school bus. I felt so happy…yes I have to be honest with you, maybe with a salt of sadness too, in my heart.
I remember he started to feel worried about death, when he was about 6, or 7. He always told me with fear that, he had bad dreams at night. He worried about where we would all go, when we were dead one day. It was such a heavy question that I did not have a good answer for. Neither did his Dad, nor did his little brother. I tried very hard to comfort my child, however, he was brave enough to challenge my answers, again and again. I could not convince him. Sometimes I would just "gave up", and asked him to close his eyes and, "just sleep", if he could.
Finally, one day I thought of an answer, a good one I supposed. I told him that, after we were dead, we would travel to another Universe, and have another beautiful trip of life again. He was very happy to learn that theory. One day, on our way driving home, my child was talking about a technology called tele-portation. I asked him if he would come to visit me and his Dad when we were old, using tele-portation. He replied, "Let's wait till 2100 then". I sadly replied that we would not be here anymore at that time. We would very likely be gone for a long time. He suggested that, me and his Dad should protect our health as best as we can, and try to live as long as possible. I smiled. Then my child told me, "Even if you were dead, you would be in Universe 411, and I would be in another Universe too, when I were gone". I joked to him, "Will you miss me then?" He replied, "No I won't". His answer saddened my heart. And he explained, "I will have a new memory, remember? A totally new memory". I murmured, "You mean that you would have a new Dad, a new Mom and some new friends?" "Of course, a brand new memory Mom. I won't remember things happened in this Universe", was his answer. I felt a rush of melancholy, flowing silently in my heart. And I became silent myself.
My dear child, out of my surprise, he happily continued, "However, Mom, we will meet each other again in Universe 784! At that time, we will live in this same state, this same town, and we are still driving in this same car! We are heading towards home, just like right now!”
How I remember such a sweet moment…That was when he was about 8.
Now he is 9.5 years old. Time just flies, as I already told you all. The past two years were not easy, for everyone of us all. My child has shown me, that he has become such a big boy. A really responsible boy. He plays golf with his Dad. He does his home work on time. He plays with his little brother at home, and tries not to quarrel with his brother too much. He loves his Minecraft, as well as his coding class. He started to write a story, which he is still working on, which I am looking forward to reading.
I miss that little boy in my memory dearly, while I love this 9.5 years old boy so much too.
And he is my special Valentine.
He will always be.
