今天下班以后又被老婆骂了。 起因在于随口说的话老婆不爱听。用老婆的话来说，我是说话不经过大脑。 虽然我的话毫无恶意，但听起来我想一个白痴。不过这几年我自觉干得还不错。 在美国做完住院医生后来到一个GROUP， 做到了专业组主任和大科主任。 这些年我才意识到，所谓头脑简单的人可能更适合在美国生存。
In our Chinese tradition, we were always told to “think before you speak”, “do not say anything unless you are sure what you will say is right”. In my experience this has become a real barrier for our communication. The circumstances do not allow you enough time to think in most of the time; that would prevent most Chinese to speak up. As a result, we are perceived as an inadequate communicator, and do not possess leadership qualities. In my experience, I am always called upon to speak in every situation I am in; I am not trying to be perfect, but I always express my own opinion. If I disagree, I always let them know. If I am not happy with something, I will never hide it. My straightforwardness had made me several enemies, but even they had to admit that I did this for the benefit of the group or the department as a whole.
I do not want to deny the presence of “glass ceilings”. But I believe it is mostly due to poor understanding of our ability; this is in turn due to our reluctance to freely express our mind. Remember most Americans are afraid of and hence reject the so called “loners”, because the loners are unpredictable and sometimes dangerous. Before the Americans will accept you as a leader, they need to know WHO YOU
