爱美国和爱中国并不矛盾... let's see here

if u love Chinese that much, you would'nt come over here. You came over here because you wanted something from this country. Now you either got it or don't have it yet. In any case, you are not doing what you expected you would be doing, so you rely on something to back you up as a person in the crowd of people that you really look down yet you have to kiss them up to keep doing what you need to.

So when you say you love China that much, yet you won't give up what you have here, you really try to hold on somthing.